Natas has returned.



And is happy...



I dunno how long it will last but trust me, im worshiping it! AND my car is ok!!! its running louder cuz of the exhaust. which is better than i was thinking. AND Jolene is gonna make me a set of keys for the car!!! IM SO HAPPY! THAT IS MY CAR! AND I THINK I CONVINCED HER NOT TO SELL IT! YAY!!! She went to the U of Vic to scout things out. And proceeded to buy me a u of vic coffee mug and an agenda... FOR THIS YEAR! AN AGENDA!!! NO FUCKING PRESSURE JARYD!!! I JUST BROUGHT HOME SOME PAROPHENILIA FROM A SCHOOL YOU DONT EVEN ATTEND!!! I mean, what the hell happens if i dont get in? Am i gonna send that shit back?...psycho.

On a different note...
WTF
WHO THE FUCK SHOOTS SOMEONE OVER FOOTBALL? I mean, can you imagine if every time the stamps lost someone shot there son? There would be A LOT of dead people! What the fuck is wrong with the world? Umm ya, my favourite team lost a game... im gonna get drunk and shoot my son! fuckin americans...
Tyler... You can officially send me emails WHENEVER you please!!!!:D
ttfn, Jaryd

YEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Tyler! I feel soo special...you know what Im talkin about... maybe you dont... BUT MAYBE YOU DO! At least someone loves me! hehe... so i have an unhappy foot. Let me repeat that, cuz thats right, im talking about feet. I have an unhappy foot. It is sad. In pain and sad. I dunno how the hell it happened but it is UNHAPPY! So ya... Umm uncle rickys story hour is not happy. i am making yet another cd... its addicting. Chelsies birthday is on saturday, and i am gonna go to tha bar with her... not drinking though... alcohol is bad. Shes grown up so fast! thats all i believe...
ttfn...
Jaryd

Its back and now ill never be able to sleep... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
Feelin' all alone without a friend ya know ya feel like dyin'
didnt i didnt i didnt i see ya cryin?
hehe... cheap trick!!!!!!!!YAY
peace out yo' (hehe... thats like you... but black!)
Jiggy

Ok so I love my new cd... SO HAPPY. I also was thinking that ever since Jr. high, it has been said that, if a person offers to light your cigarette it means that they want to get into your pants. If that is so, It makes everything so much funnier! hehe... i cant stop smiling, i dont know why, but i cant!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA, bye guys. Also, kelsey is a whacko! I dont quite remember why... but OH YA! cuz she said in her blog that 20/30 year olds were to old for her. Which means they didnt look like James dean, but maybe the kid did. Maybe he had big huge ears like James Dean did when he was little. If thats the case. KELSEY IS DURTAY!!!!!!!!!heh not only is it old men, but its children too!!! I told that ice cream lady that no one could help her!!!

ok, so it only took 7 sad songs in a row to get rid of my smile... meh... its sleepy time anyway :D
ttfn, Jigs

So I really enjoy this song. Its quite pretty.


Finger Eleven ~ One thing

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It’s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds


Also, I have finished Satan's Room. It is done. Except for the curtains but my momma is making those. Hopefully she likes it. Im a little worried. But i think it looks good. :S Less than two days before the hell is continued. grr. Well, I had a good weekend, last nite was fun i suppose. Besides the waste of money. We all slept in my bed, good times... I havent had a double sleep over in a while... besides parties of course. Anyway... I wish to go burn a cd... and I have to continue watching six feet under... Oh ya... We were both right Tristan, it either means for a short time, or in an instant.
ttfn, Jiggy

So here i am... again... at the unspeakable place.... listening to various geeks say... "aww fuck man, something just shot me!" and i think this is the 4th time that i have heard "Im so into you" I MEAN WTF!!!!!!! anyway... at least im not wasting my money. Kelsey has decided to be a LOSER AND PAY FOR EM AND I. anyway. Movies are fun times. Im just not a big fan of watching scary movies in theatres cuz i have a tendency to scream and grab things when im scared. I did pretty well tonite though. I was given many opportunitys to cry agony but only chose one to respond to. And thats only becuase not only do i not like big eyes, i ESPECIALLY dont like big red possessed eyes that read "IM GOING TO EAT YOU!" scary... Oh ya! My car was smoking on the way to renees... APPARENTLY my mother would like to destroy my boink car by not checking the fucking rad fluid once in a while... grrr... hopefully my car gets better...:( so ya... i just said yo twice in the same sentence. WHY??? WHY THE FUCK WHY??? i need to stop coming here... OMG! so we stopped at timmys cuz i have yet another addiction... And we (Kels, em and I) we sitting on my car just having a happy fucked up time(yes we were beat boxing) when all of the sudden this creepy man comes along and says thats really good. Then he got in his car and continued to sit in it with the window rolled down...Staring at us... He didnt even stop when we got in the Hot Mobile! STILL.. then i raced away scared for our loves. It was kinda funny though... Not as funny as Tristans story...hehe... fag mag :P
anyway... Im a loser for being talked into this so i shall be going...
Peace out dawgs!
Jiggy

What an Interesting nite. I finished painting satans room. I like it... Maybe ill just take over her room... then I will have two!! Have you ever had a conversation with someone where at some point you wish you had something brilliant and concluding to say, but the words arent there. I had that kinda conversation today. It made me sad. Not only the actual conversation but the fact that I wish the world was perfect and no one anywhere was suffering in any which way. But that is not possible because perfection does not exist. How do you make someone feel better when you dont have an emotional thesaurus at your disposal. You cant. All you can do is keep on talking to them and learn as much about the world, as the see it. Then maybe one day you will have the words to say that will make it right, or sub conciously send them to you so you can discover the truth on your own. I dunno, blabbering again... I shall go watch some comedy and laugh myself to sleep for a change.
Endless Hugs,
Jaryd

Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over
(written by: Neil Finn)


There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're travelling with me

Chorus
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the T.V. page

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only the shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
Don't ever let them win

It was lovely. I didnt feel like going home right away afterschool, so I went to a small cafe in kensington, you all know what Im talking about. Anthony wasnt there which didnt bother me too much, so I sat out on the patio reading the paper. It was quite serene. Then a little birdy hopped onto the table I was sitting at and I said to myself ' I love Kensington'. A nice afternoon to myself. I dont have enough of those. I shall be off now. I must go finish satans room. one thing though, she left for a vacation and gave my momma and i a list of shit to do around the house. What a whore, Im quite bitter about it, mind you i owe her $80 and if i finish all of it i dont owe her anything... meh... she'll just find other ways to exploit me.
ta ta, Jig

Today was so whacked. Seriously seriously twisted. I was fine until english when someone guided me to remember something I pushed into my sub conscience so that I wouldnt have to deal with it. Then Something just clicked in Social after lunch. I walked into class, sat down and silently did my work. It wasnt until my teacher asked me if i was ok that i realized I wasnt. SO i told her that i was sad and she was genuinly concerned, i told her that it was personal but thanked her. For a while i couldnt figure out why she came over and confronted me. Normally in her class I laugh a lot and rarely do my work. It must have been so odd for her to see me like that and thats why she came over. Then a gurl i shall refer to as a friend i suppose told me that it just wasnt like me to sit there and actually be productive. It was kinda funny and kinda sad. Everyone assumes Im always happy, always smiling and always having durtay thoughts running through my head. It may surprise you, but thats not always the case. For the most part I would rather keep people out, then allow them to worry about me. Anyway, Crying for no reason is quite disheartening. I mean obviously theres a reason for it, but do you ever just get sad for no apparent reason? Thats what happened. Boo for that, I hate it.

I went to a world premiere tonite from a small theatre company. It was so fun. Definatly childrens theatre but still fun cuz im still, and always will be, a child at heart. I met everyone involved with the show including a young talented boy. It was kinda weird cuz they all knew who I was and I had NO IDEA who they were. It was good times though. I suppose thats all besides the fact that Im heading in the wrong direction and i need to be turned around.
ttfn, the invisible one

I have found my brilliant thought... One day... everyone should come to school... painted in latex paint. And they would have clothes on as well (sorry em) Seriously though, how cool would that be! we could get there and just parade around the school saying "thats right im painted. What colour are you?" cuz when you think about it everyone has a certain colour to them. Its not necessarily their fav colour, but i guess more the colour of their soul. mind you that colour changes constantly for most. But if we did do that I bet people would lie about what colour they ACTUALLY were. For the most part We always hide who we are no matter where we are. Its quite sickening really. People are friends with you and like you cuz of something you wear to protect yourself, then when the real you comes out they dont know what the hell is going on. And they cant handle this change in you because they have never seen it and have never experianced it because they are to afraid of what people might think if they are themselves instead of some fabricated image of a try hard Britney spears. That is what the world is coming to. Mini Skanky spears' walking all over the place thinking theyre hot shit when really, they dont even know who they are or what they are going to be. Its such crap.

How did this blog go from a fun day with latex to skanks... must be the fumes...
ttfn, Jellybean

So im gonna steal Kelseys Grandpa... HE IS SO CUTE!!! definatly the cutest grampa ive ever met. He gave me hugs :D i love hugs.
I AM HAVING A MOVIE PARTY!! this weekend... invite only so dont go tellin everyone about it :P
THIS JUST IN!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE A GRAMPA!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAHOO!!!!!!!!!!SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! AND I JUST SAW A REALLY SECURE MAN SINGING QUEEN IN A BLACK AND WHITE LEOTARD!!!!!!!!! YAY!
so ya... thats pretty much all... i have to go paint somemore but i shall return with some BRILLIANT THOUGHT... maybe...
ttfn, Jaryd

So far away ~ Staind

This is my life
Its not what it was before
All these feelings I ve shared
And these are my dreams
That Id never lived before
Someone shake me
cuz i, i must be sleeping

Now that we're here
its so far away
and the struggle we thought was in vain
All the mistakes
One life contained
They all finally start to go away

Now that we're here
Its so far away
and i feel like i can face the day
I can forgive and im not ashamed
to be the person that i am today

These are my words
that ive never said before
I think Im doing ok
And this is the smile
that ive never shown before
Somebody shake me
cuz i must be sleeping

Im so afraid of waking
please dont shake me
Afraid of waking
please dont shake me

ive been saving this song for a time when i actually felt this way and its just taking too long so i thought i would post it anyway.
wicky,
Jaryd

HEY!... so my ears just popped. It sounded funny, ANYWAY. I TOTALLY KICKED KELSEYS ASS!!!!! BOOYAW! i dont know how it got started... Oh ya thats right, I CANT DRIVE WITH KELSEY IN THE CAR. THen i said "As soon as this car is stopped i am going to fuck you up. i will fong you!" and then i did... it was good times. :P So i just finished drilling holes into dresser drawers... redoing a room is difficult, but i know that it will be super when its done.
On a different note, i got a little jealous today... Im not particularily proud of that, but nonetheless i felt it and shall have to improve on that state of mind. And also, Grr on yet another note. but yay, my hot sexy car. :D and apparently im hot and sexy too!!!lol seriously makes me happy inside. but ya, i discovered today that i dont have to study to do well... it kinda makes me sad, but happy at the same time. I dunno, it gives me no satisfaction anymore and thusly i need to get out of high school. so i can ruin my life elsewhere.
I will end with a quote...
"homosexual marriages dont kill people, people kill people."
-----------------Dave...
ttfn, Jaryd
PS. the lead singer from Staind is beautiful in everyway...

Knockin' On Heavens Door
Bob Dylan

Mama, take this badge off of me
I can't use it anymore.
It's gettin' dark, too dark for me to see
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door

Mama, put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore.
That long black cloud is comin' down
I feel like I'm knockin' on heaven's door.

Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door
Knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door.

Tonite i came to the actualization that i love Bob Dylan and Guns n Roses... I always liked them, but now i know i love them. Such beautiful music. I was really born too late... i should have been born many decades ago and stayed 17 for all the years, then i could truly enjoy all the great music. starting in the 20's, skip the depression, and hop right through to the 40's and 50's and so on... that would have been awesome, but instead i am sitting at my computer down loading all of the oldies. good times... hey, i spelt times right the first time both times. HAHA three!!! i am improving! YAY!

ttfn, Jiggy

well, there is another monday gone... thank goodness. I say the DUMBEST things in rehearsal. Grr, more dumb questions for the book... Meh. so HOLY COW JOLENE IS GONNA KILL ME!!! her room is so bright. omgoodness, you might as well say your goodbyes now cuz i will be smothered in my sleep.
Moving on, I saw Aaron today (lookin good). I miss hanging out with him and Adam. I REALLY miss adam, 3 years of seeing him everyweek and now i never see him. :( it makes me sad... Everyone you know will leave you if they havent already. But you also leave other people and you have to know that they miss you as much as you miss them. Damn it, now i miss Cory. I hope he comes back for christmas. I cant wait til spring break, let alone next summer, to see him again!!!! just another example of me getting too close to someone knowing full well nothing good can come from it in the end. Why does he have to live so far away?! that would be a Staind song entitled so far away... wow, this really sucks, i was actually having a good day, maybe i wasnt then. theoretically happy days mean happy blogs right... so this wasnt a happy day then. I shall make a cd of, Guns n Roses, Bob Dylan, Metallica, cheap trick, AC/DC, The Knack, B 52's (YES), NIN and assorted others... Knock Knock Knockin on Heavens Door, Avril should not have gone there... dont fuck with a classic, bitch!! BOOYAW!
i shall probably blog again... cuz i never run out of things to say... sometimes i do, but then something is really REALLY wrong...
ttfn, Jaryd (with a y)

so... i am super tired... Jolenes room has 2 coats of paint... the lawn has been weedwhacked and mowed... and i should be sleeping right now, but thats just not an option. I am quite sore actually, painting a room with very little help can be painful cuz ur trying to stretch as far as you can and reaching for things that are just that little bit out of the way... i only survived because of the music and multiple slurpees... and im still not done... im done for the nite, but there is more to do and i need help! even my mom admits that she cant help me. That makes me sad. SO if anyone feels like devoting an after noon to helpin me out that would be super!!! but you guys have lives... thats right... well, most of you...lol... anyway, i believe saturday/sunday will be a day of movies... you are all invited and i shall let you know more details... it all depends when ill be finished my annual project. its coming along quite nicely although i think jolene will kill me for painting her room "strawberry Daquiri" hey, it had liquor in it so i assumed she'd like it... LOL. no i think its nice, and with some gold accents it will be prettiful (full of pretty). anyway... i have war wounds... 9 to be exact... i know you do as well, at least im not missing skin...hahahaha!!! i win.... not really. ANYWAY, i went insane in fabric land on saturday, it was goo fun, after being there for two hours i hysterically bursted out laughing and couldnt stop, there i am in the middle of the store falling onto the rolls of fabric without a clue why... good times.... ok i CAN NOT spell times, i always have to correct myself because it shows up as tiems...it bugs me.... anyway, i downloaded the Johnny cash version of hurt tonite... im not sure which one i like better... NIN or good ol Johnny... ill have to think about it...
at any rate i believe that is all...
ttfn, Jarebear

Ok so despite the fact that tristan and i are not on happy terms right now, i have to say that saturdays blog was the FUNNIEST blog i have ever read... Definatly. Moving on, I have OFFICIALLY begun "While you were out" Jaryd Style.... Thats right, Jolene is gone and im re doing her room... either she will love it, or i will be dead...lol meh, it will be super!!! I saw Jacklyn and Haley today, that made me happy... I also went to chelsies last nite and :D i miss her. but theres nothing i can do, cuz thats her life now. oh well. Oh ya, and Renee pulled this whole guilt trip that i dont have time for her... right, cuz its not her that dustin talks almost every nite, and makes all sorts of plans with him. ya, that makes sense to me. boo hoo. Anyway, i have a long day ahead of me and its gonna start in 5 hours so maybe i should get some sleep.... HAHAHAHA, i make myself laugh... Cosmo is good times. :D
ttfn, Jaryd

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE KELSEY
Simply for the fact that she cannont spell! hehe and although i muchly enjoyed the fact that her lastest blog was FOR ME... It kinda made me sad but mostly happy!

Please read...
THIS ONE IS FOR YOU JARE BEAT..JUST CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH *sneeze*

I will call it Road Trip Song

This is for all you girls about thirteen
High school can be so ruff can be so mean
Hold on to, on to your inocense
Stand your ground when everybodys giving in

This ones for the girls

This is for all you girls about 25
in little apartments just trying to get by
living on on dreams and spagetti o's *insert actions there*
wondering where your lifes gonna go

This ones for the girls
Whove ever had a broken heart
whos wished upon a shooting star
your beautiful the way you are
this ones for the girls
who laugh without holding back
who dream with everything the have
all aroud the world
this ones for the girls

this ones for all the girls

this is for all you girls abour 42
tossing pennies into the fountain of youth
every laugh, laugh line on your face
made you who you are today

This ones for the girls
Whove ever had a broken heart
whove wished upon a shooting star
your beautiful the way you are
this ones for the girls
who laugh without holding back
who dream with everything the have
all around the world
this ones for the girls

yeah were all the same in size *same in size* PLEASE NOTE!!! the song ACTUALLY GOES Ya, were all the same INSIDE *same inside*
from 1 to 99

this ones for the girls
whove ever had a brocken heart *quite*
whove wished upon a shooting star
your beautiful the way you are

this ones for the girls
who laugh without holding back
who dream with everything the have
all around the world
this ones for the girls


Live theatre is brilliant. I saw Plan B tonite. It was about Fucking. Politics. And Quebec separating. It was lovely considering the plot line. An excellent script mostly great characters. 4 politicians, so of course there was a lot of swearing and cheating and lieing. Good times. Definately good times! Ushering is quite fun. Free theatre out of the deal, so i cant go wrong!!! Anywho, tristan hates me, but thats ok cuz ben says i still have everyone else...hahaha... i win!!! i shall be off to converse with the parental units.... someone help me!

sum interesting quotes from tonite....
"its based on a feeling, not that im a big fan of those, but what the fuck can you do?!"
"trust comes and goes, you cant trust it"
all from Plan B... Ill getcha the playright later...OH!!! I saw Eugene Stickland tonite... He had green hair... interesting.
Ttfn!!
Jaryd (the unhated one)

I have a new nickname... It is Jarebeat. Ya that right. BOOYAW!!! Anyway, i had a lovely evening in subway tonite. Its the new hang out. Somehow Kels and I started planning ickies. It was great fun! Definatly good times. But ya, we have some excellent ideas and YES i DO realize it is september, and Ickies is in June, But it is my baby!!!(Sept - June is nine months, just so ya know) I have to start planning as soon as possible. I have about a page of ideas... I may be a loser, but at least im not alone. Omgoodness i just inadvertantly wrote Gob lyrics in my blog. Wow. Anyway, my parents are currently dicussing how horrible they are to each other. Boo fucking Hoo, i have officially run out of sympathy. So ya, I still wish to be shot. No one will do the honors though. Maybe I will feel better if I can forget the moment i keep reliving. It causes me unnecissary pain. I am also trying to fight off this horrid feeling of regret, because i regret nothing in my life, but i know i should have done it differently, if i had maybe i wouldnt be as upset as i am. I never seem to protect myself. I should work on that.
ttfn, Jaryd

I love 3 days grace... I traded Cd's with kels today... It was sad, cuz its my most favouritist cd right now. A perfect circle, 40 foot echo, finger 11, saliva, various country sons and of course a few musical numbers to make it super have.



story of my week thus far....except the stoned thing... drugs are bad, except Nyquil...and coffee, and nicotine, and alcohol, ok, all drugs are bad...

Ill be coming home, just to be alone
cuz i know that ur not there and i know that you dont care
i can hardly wait to leave this place
no matter how hard i try, ur never satisfied
this is not a home, i think im better off alone
you always disappear, even when your here
this is not my home, i think im better off alone
by the time you come home im already stoned
you turn off the tv and u scream at me
i can hardly wait till you get off my case

Can someone please shoot me because I cant do it myself...

So last nite could not have been worse. My parents are 12 year olds and thusly I cannot talk to them about anything because then I end up arguing with children. It is definatly not pleasent. Grr. When I'm at home I just wanna disappear. But I cant. They are so selfish. They have this gift of being able to turn ANYTHING into something about them or something that will reflect on them negitivly. I just wanna tell them to grow up and stop hating me because I have the ability to be happy. Fuck you, you fucking fucks. Oh ya, and everyone, I am untouchable. This is so stupid. I need some clarity. I mean they can tell me I have to have kids and get married and blah blah blah but the minute someone is supposed to touch me in a play its a big fucking deal. ITS ACTING. I love them, and I loathe them. Boo for them, they can suck my cock. Have a nice nite everyone!

hey guess what!
_________ has a blog. Its basically about me so far, which is awesome!!lol but ya, you should all go read it and since i do not speak geek fluently enough its jimdean.blogspot.com
what a BIG surprise hey...
Peace out

IM PLANNING A ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is quite exciting!! Everyone save your money for the next month or so!!! maybe i shouldnt publically post that...hmm... well only 4 people read my blog... and another already expressed their excitment to come so thats five people plus me which is 6 which is how many people can fit in my car!!! excluding the trunk of course. then wed be able to bring 10 people!lol. anyway... YAY!
JarebeaT

I have only 2 words of importance...
ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok so i obviously have more than 2 words to say but those are definatley the most important ones... oh and FUCK MIKE... not literally of course. ANYWAY, i couldnt believe that Jolene ACTUALLY let me leave town to go camping with 3 friends AND take the car... Crazy psycho is all i can say. Omgoodness those were such good times!!! MEMORIES ** in a ghetto voice while punching chest twice then makes a peice sign** that was for emily...:D Best moment of the weekend, I was just driving along minding my own business when all of the sudden this horrendous raptor sneeze comes from the seat beside me and this green chunk of sumthing flies out of its mouth heading straight for me and all i can do is scream! Then laugh hysterically cuz i finally understand, Kelsey has a cold and she sneezed and her halls flew out of her mouth.
good times...Ive gone back to the whole ADD thing again cuz i have so much i wanna say!!! ok so, i ve discovered that the reason i may not like Katy as much as i should is because we are quite alike... I quite enjoyed camping with her, for a while it seemed like we were the only people there, crazy. Anyway, so Katy and I got along great last nite and kels was sick and thusly i am sick, not just cuz of her but because it was sooooooooooo freaking cold last nite!!! so ya, that leads me to my next point of PAIN... seriously hurts. i have a really bad cold... NOT HAPPY. Next, i hurt my voice at the stamps game... which we won!!!!!!!! WAAHOO!!! WERE # 7!!!!! WERE #7!!!!!!!!! hehehe... Mr.Jobb is gonna be pissed at me... meh... WWWF was on friday nite... yes i know there are 3 w's. i decided to stay out of it this time....:S
I shall end with a quote from my bestfriend, "Most guys would rather have a peice of ass then a relationship." Not that we didnt know that already. oh ya... i saw kyle today, that was quite weird.
nothin but luv,
Jaryd

Ok so for the record, i think my favourite thing right now is to see my name/nickname in someone elses blog. But only when I am happily mentioned, although i havent been unhappily mentioned before. Anyway, so i was supposed to go camping this weekend but mike is a bastard, so im debating whether or not i should just take the car and go out for the nite, cuz dammit it would be fun!!! I dunno, Jolene is pissed off as usual so that probably wont work. All i know is that im all ready to go, but i cant get there. Well, sweet cheeks, i shall be off, to NO WHERE!!!! :P
ttfn, Jaryd
PS. There were no (...)'s in my last three posts. YAY

the whole in my wall continues to grow. It is empty and hollow. I hear a constant rumble when i look at it and i know it will only get bigger. There is nothing. I am poisoned and hopeless. Im trying and failing miserably to be rescued. Im so afraid of waking, please dont shake me. My soul is stained with the mistakes from my past, they will never go away. I am reminded of them everyday when i wake up and when i think i am sleeping. What if life is just a dream or a nightmare that someone else is having. We will never be aware of it. We will never know that we are just in a dream that doesnt even matter when they are shaken. We would be inferior and never know it. All the suffering and pain is just in someones imagination being let out in the form of a fantasy. A sick twisted dream that is life. It is full of bombs we are supposed to learn from. What if we dont learn. What if we repeat them over and over. Is that all there is to life? Learn from your mistakes. If so, I have failed already.

i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch, i am slowly going crazy one two three four five six switch, crazy going slowly am i six five four three two one switch.

IM GONE CAMPING AS OF 30 MINUTES FROM NOW!!!!!!!!!! hopefully, so ya, i hope you all have a super dee duper weekend! and remember... to remember!!!!!! i should really do that. BYE BYE NOW!!!!!!!!!
Jaryd

ok, so i think i may have ADD... Not just cuz of my blog, but because it just took me a whole hour to clean out my purse and wallet. and NOT because there was too much crap in it, i just kept getting side tracked. Maybe i have no concentration cuz ive had 3 coffees to eat today and that is it... OH WELL!!! Also, for the record, i have been trying NOT to put in so many dot dot dots (...) because i in fact am in denile about having ADD. OH WELL its kinda fun, but frustrating!!!HEHE!!!
ttfn, Jarebear (the one with groupies :P)

OMG BEST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reasons:D
1. Im hotter than Chelsie:D
2. I got kidnapped and missed a class because of it:D
3. I didnt get in trouble from my teacher:D
4. I didnt get in trouble from my parents:D
5. I got into the play:D
6. I didnt have to be mad at anyone:D
7. I HAVE GROUPIES!!! ya thats right:D
8. I HAVE GROUPIES!!! sorry that one is especially happy:D
9. I got many hugs and massages today :D
10. I made more friends!!!!:D
11. Jolenes a bitch and yelled at me for no reason then i laughed at her!!!hehehe if she only knew!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA:D
12. Apparently Im "Glowing":D
13. I cant stop smiling :D (<-------------- me smiling):D
13.5. I got magazines today!!!:D
14. NOTHING CAN BRING DOWN FROM THIS HUGE CLOUD IM ON!!!!!!!!!:D
15. COOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE:D
there is only one thing that could make me happier... but im not telling!!!
Im goin camping tomorrow i do believe and it should be good times!!!!!! YAY:D
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
ok then... someones gotta talk to me cuz i have A LOT OF FUCKING ENERGY!!! hehe... fucking energy!!! HAHAHAHA ANYWAY
ttfn!!! Jiggy :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

so holy shit this was a horrible nite.... NOT in order of importance... Billy got cut from canandian, what am i gonna with my monday and tuesday nites!!! and my friend got shafted... hehe... AND my 10 month old nephew is in the hospital... i cried...it was not very happy... but then i talked to this guy on the bus who was drinking a beer. He dropped it and said "alcohol abuse" which i have heard before but never ACTUALLY used in that sort of situation, then we continued to talk about pawning shit off and how marlborough is full of indians and that he was a wannabe indian... it was so great cuz em and i were JUST talking about how some guy asked her if she wanted to buy a childrens bike while she was at the train station and then these gurls told him he should just pawn it off... and my parents say i dont live in the ghetto!!! ALSO i have an ADD blog!!!! hehe... it totally is too, thanks tyler!!! Anyway... i should be on my way... Double tech theatre tomorrow :S:S:S:S...
good nite never land!!!
Jaryd

On another note... I have said BOO YAH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too many times today... i cant help it... everyone try it!!! BOOYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehe
ttyl

Well... Today i woke up with a smile on my face... and i thought WTF IS WRONG!!! smile and morning NEVER go together in the same sentence unless its "I HATE PEOPLE WHO SMILE IN THE MORNING!!!" yes... so there was that... i was also quite insane today which came acrossed as a good thing to sum people becuase i seemed happy... when really... i just psycho manifested my feelings into one big fake smile while i slowly went insane inside... good times... I actually had a fairly good day...:P besides getting called a bitch and butch... grrr... i think i should try silence for a while, my mouth seems to be getting me in trouble lately :S ... im also gonna stay away from tape... it is a bad addiction of mine... OOOOOOOOOO
Jaryds List Of addictions/bad habits:
Smoking
Gum
Tape
Astrology
snapping my gum
BLOGGING
borrowing money
letting things get to me easily
cock...(not really an addiction/bad habit but sumthing i rather enjoy)hehe
oh ya... theres this sticker in Charisma that says "vaginas are way cool" LOL ITS SO GREAT!!!!
anyway... i think thats the end of the list... i know theres more but i dont care to mention them...
Also, i was invited to go camping this weekend and anyone who wants to come along is welcome. I hope my parental units allow me... I miss hangin out with ian... but when we do, it is so great, tonite for example we talked on the phone for a while and, he almost made me cry... i cannot believe he cares about me so much... I mean, weve known each other for 6 years... omgoodness... but i never thought i would be this close to him, even after not seeing him for 99.9% of the summer its like we talked everyday... our relationship is weird that way and i know we will always be sistahs!;) im so happy i have him even if he isnt around as much as id like him to be... yay, camping with ian!!! and im sure i can get over the fact that Katy is coming and i will have to share my ian time with her... shes a nice gurl though. When i first met her i told her that if she broke Ians heart i would break her back... I am a loving friend...hehe...
i have to get over some of the thoughts in my head... they only cause me unnessicary grief, though i would like to be let into the circle of knowledge sumtimes... with one issue right now esspecially... blah
Anyway, i believe that is all for now and i will close with this... I love my friends and all the support they give me... Thank you
lotsa luv!
Jaryd

good evening everyone... i went to a picinic today... it was awesome i got sum really pretty body paint done there on my shoulder... too bad it will be gone tomorrow... oh well, thats why i got a pic of it... my mom also got sum and then the funniest thing happened... We were in sev and this gothic puck came up to her and pointed at her face and said it was really cool... well by that time my mom had forgotten about the paint and had to remember in a split second to react with... uh thank you... giggle giggle... i then proceeded to tell her that she didnt have to be afraid of them... then i lokced my door...hehe... just kiddin... it was funny though!!!!!!! then i watched an EXCELLENT MOVIE.... the pianist... wow... i love war stories... books or movies it doesnt matter to me... i love them both... i also love slurpees... they are good times... i wish to go out tomorrow evening... i dont know where or with who... but i wish to do sumthing... now... if i could only think... but i cant!!! so
ttfn... Jaryd
ps... ive only had 2 smokes today... yay AND I WENT SHOPPING!!! i hate shopping... unless i know exactly what i want...bye bye then!

Ok i officially love jason... why is it that gay guys can always make you feel better when you curse the male sex... i dunno... its unexplainable but he is great... i am bunches happier now and its all thanks to him... YAY...
oh ya...
ROCK HARD COCK!!!!!!! thats always good times
ttfn, happy jaryd

ok this will be my 4th time today... but i am sooooooooooooooooo happy.... everyone should have a secret blog.. you can write whatever the hell you want and no one will tell you your a bitch... its great... lol... so i think that is all for today...
YAY FOR SECRET BLOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
goodnite everyone except... jk...:P
ttfn.... Secret blogger

someone shoot me now... im being ignored and i do not enjoy it at all... em... im making a new secret blog like you said... maybe i can write in it more freely than i do this useless thing... only you will be permitted to read it... maybe... i havent decided...at any rate... i REALLY REALLY REALLY need to stop listening to sad music... my good times cd needs to be retired and my "striping cd" needs to played... see, i hate this... i know i what i should be doing... but instead... i do the opposite... i listen to sappy music, smoke too much, dont sleep or eat... and i wonder why i had a crappy week... HAHAHA i can feel a nervous breakdown coming on... and you know what... i think kelsey was quite rude to me today and thusly... grr to her...
ttfn... Tired and Jaded
ps... i just blogged 3 times in one day... boo

So For once i am on the computer... and not on msn... CRAZY... its actually quite fun... no one to interupt me... not that im doing anything important... in fact i am doing quite possibly the dumbest thing EVER... swear to god im losing brain cells and i am slowly becoming a real life window licker... seriously... i think there is something wrong with me... maybe i should sleep... OH WAIT A MINUTE.... I CANT... i wish i could sleep... instead i am awake doing the dumbest thing ever... AND I MEAN DUMB... unfortunatley i cannot tell you what im doing because then you would all know how stupid i am... and i do have some sort of reputation to keep up...HAH ya right... oh dear... i am just going to continue on blabbing... cuz theres nothing left to do... blah blah blah... I want to talk to emily... so em... PLEASE CALL ME...
I also finished watching to shittiest football game ever... although our win meant WAY more then their win... WAHOO edmonton won against the stamps... THE LAST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE... their mothers should be proud...
well im going to see if anyone online is worth talking to about nothing... meh... probably not...
ttfn... Jaryd

Ok... so everytime i blog it means i have made a decision... One of my decisions for today is that A Perfect Circle is brilliant... and that things are not always as they seem... YAY... thats all... i figure someones blog had to be kinda happy... so it might as well be mine... I guess i had a good day, better than i make it out to be... I got a great mark on my social quiz (93%) :D... I have caring people around me... and i just wish to smile about nothing... yay! so this is my attitude... BE HAPPY!!!!!!!! its way more fun to be happy than sad, or say bad words repeatedly... :P HAPPY!!!!
sidebar: I got a kick in the ass today... not just metaphorically either... AN ACTUAL KICK... i thought it was funny actually, but that DOES NOT mean i want another... :D... hehe... I have nothing to laugh about but i am... maybe im having a breakdown of sum kind... OH WELL!!! ITS GOOD TIMES!!!!!!!!
ttfn...bob lobla

I have decided that i no longer am sad... well i am... im just not gonna focus on it... and then it will go away right? no... but maybe i will feel better... probably not but its worth a shot...wow... i just typed almost the exact same thing last nite... crazy!!! anyway... my parentals are psycho... my mom asked me where all the glasses were like im pawning them off or sumthing... how the hell should i know?!! and omg they need to get off my back about school... im already scared enough that im gonna fail them... NOT EVEN ME... BUT THEM! this is their future and i hate it already... I had a good nite with emily... We talked about a lot of things on a wide variety of topics and it was good... We havent done that in a while and thusly i feel better... But then i came home and learned that sum of my friends are not happy... and now i am sad... cuz i wish i could make them happy. Maybe i can, maybe i cant... i dunno, people need to hug more... Thats my thought of the day... have fun with it!

Also... Ive decided that a perfect circle and saliva rock... man... i can only stand so much hip hop until i go back to my roots of hardcore rocker!!! WAAHOO!!!
Super Songs
A Perfect Circle: The Hollow, Magdalena, The Rose and my all time fav 3 Libras...

Magdelena

Overcome by your
Moving temple
Overcome by this
Holiest of altars

So pure
So rare
To witness such an earthly goddess
That I've lost my self control
Beyond compelled to throw this dollar down before your
Holiest of altars

I'd sell
My soul
My self-esteem a dollar at a time

One chance
One kiss
One taste of you my magdalena

I bear witness
To this place, this prayer, so long forgotten
So pure
So rare
To witness such an earthly goddess

That I'd sell
My soul
My self-esteem a dollar at a time
For one chance
One kiss
One taste of you my black madonna

I'd sell
My soul
My self-esteem a dollar at a time

One taste
One taste
One taste of you my Magdalena

----

Rose

Don't disturb
The beast
The tempermental goat
The snail while he's feeding on
the Rose
Stay frozen, compromising
What I will
I am

Bend around
The wind silently
thrown about
Again I'm treading so
Soft and lightly
Compromising my will
I am

I am
I will
So no longer
Will I
Lay down
Play dead
Play your doe
in the headlights locked down
and terrified
Your deer in the headlights
shot down and horrified when
Push comes to pull comes to shove
Comes to step around this
Self-destructing dance that never
would've ended till I
Rose,
I roared aloud here
I will
I am.

I am
I will
So no longer
Will I
Lay down
Lay dead
Play this
Kneel down
Gun-shy Martyr
Pitiful
I rose, I roared
I will
I am

----


The Hollow

Run desire run
Sexual being
Run him like a blade
To and through the heart
No conscience
One Motive
Cater to the hollow

Screaming feed me here
Fill me up again
Temporarily pacify this hungering
So grow
Libido throw
Dominoes of indiscretions down
Falling all around
In cycles
In circles
Constantly consuming
Conquer and devour

Cause it's time to bring the fire down
Bridle all this indiscretion
Long enough to edify
And permanently fill this hollow

Screaming feed me here
Fill me up again
Temporarily pacifying

Feed me here
Fill me up again
Temporarily pacifying


----

3 Libras

Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well..

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all
---
Man... thats a lot of A Perfect Circle... Must thank Riel for introducing me to it... :D
nite

so i had a pretty bad day... i am attempting to look at the upside of things... but it isnt really working. Thats all i can say, i need to talk to sumone but i dont think i can... I guess thats it... there is nothing else

Ok so fuckin right we won the labour day classic... it was quite an amusing game... fights, penalties, my whole section chanting bullshit... id rather be a homo than a fuckin eskiho (or mo if you prefer) and i dunno but ive been told, eskiho pussy is mighty cold... i introduced everyone to that... im quite happy it took off as well... speaking of taking off...


ok im back and i have really needed to blog... but i can not blog because well...i dont know why... there are no words i suppose... i have sum tho... they include
im
a
window
licker
who
can
type
without
looking
at
the
keys
and
fuck
you
you
fuckin
fuck
he
he
he
ok i am sofa king bored... and i need to talk to someone... but because it is 11... i can not... maybe i can but it would be rude to call anyone after 11 on a school nite... mind you 2 of my friends dont have phones, and i am not talkin to another... bah... uneeded drama
at any rate... i found a 4 leaf clover yesterday and that has not broughten me any luck thus far... unless you count the game today... meh... now i will be watching the next game on friday cuz if we win that one... ill know for sure its the clover and nothing to do with the stamps... or Ricky Ray taking gatorade up the ass...eww... i just grossed myself out... onto a new topic... school starts tomorrow and i have concluded that i may be scared to go back... i mean i wanna go back, but damn... just knowing that this is my last year freaks me out... its been such a routine... most people have this thought later on in their grade 12 year... i dunno... as a result i have not eaten or slept in an unexceptable amount of time... mind you i tried to eat a sandwich this morning... but that didnt work... i dunno... hopefully this phase will end soon...
why is it always so cold in my house?? brrrrrrrr
ive decided that washed... essentially naked hair feels good... but doesnt always look good... and on that note, my hair is kinda all one colour now... as opposed to brown on top and blonde on the bottom...it looked really red when it was wet and i hoped that it would get better cuz my hair is all i have going for me!!!! (luv ya em) but it is no longer too red... not red at all actually thank goodness...
and i grrr... no more pity parties... they are not fun... i may need to have my own pity party.... then i will write everything i cannot say... blah... that is all as usual...
except for the fact of me saying i told you so... and by you i mean me... i said it was impossible to stay good friends with someone you never see... and i was right... i do miss you, but not as much as i thought i would... weird how infatuation goes away after a couple of weeks... kinda sad though...
ttfn... of course

items...
1. Nasty dog fart sluts taking it hard
2. Window licker = special with an R = Retard
3. its a good thing i have pretty hair on my head cuz theres nothing inside it...
4. I can turn ANYTHING into sumthing sexual...
5. I have skills
6. its amazing how you think something is going so well and everyone is having fun until someone has a lil too much fun in YOUR DAMN BED
7. I am bitter
8. Note to self: say what youve typed outloud before hitting enter
9. I wish i had no memory
9. I wish i had no memory
10. I wish i had all my memories
11. DVDA cannot be physical possible... shudder

that is all for now