ahh, the joys of getting a raise. Yay for $8 an hour instead of 7! Im happy, in just over a month i got a dollar raise. Good times. Man, i dont like working fridays cuz its so busy, but on satudays i can get out of there an hour earlier cuz its the opposite. Oh well, what can ya do. I have 3 christmas parties comin up... one in OMG I HAVE TO GET READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ttfn.
Jaryd

Ok so my week was great shit. In that it was great, but also shit. So lets focus on the great. On thursday i walked into the pit, opened my condo, and found a single rose just laying there. It was the most beautiful thing. To, for a moment, not know who it was from, but that they really cared about you enough to buy you a flower. It really was the prettiest flower Ive ever seen. I have kept a petal from it in my book entitled "Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end" Book number 3 in an endless series. Well, close to endless. It shall end when i die. Next, on friday, I got panties. Boughten by Dave. They are so cute! In 2 days i got a rose and panties from 2 different guys. lol... I didnt go out with Ian yesterday which kinda made me sad, but on the other hand i dont get paid til tomorrow, so i would have just been me walking around telling him to step away from the christmas lights because we have a mission. **side note** I was waiting for the bus and i saw a jeep driving by with 2 christmas trees tied to the roof. It was divine.**side note** Ian told me that out of all the people he shops for, im the most difficult. That surprised me cuz im pretty easily pleased... But then, just now, I had a thought. I know i know a rariety cuz im stupid, but i realized that we go christmas shopping every year for the women in his life, but not for me. I dont help him shop for me, until its a couple days before christmas and he calls me up freaking out that he is in the mall and he wants to know EXACTLY what i would like. funny boy. thats why its so difficult for him, no one is helping him shop for me, and no one will start to, cuz he has to learn how to shop for gurls for when im gone...

Doris is warm and up and running. YAY. I cleaned all the anti fruz up and shall be driving her tonite and for pretty much the rest of the year. waahoo for that.

I read my hororscope in fast forward for this week and wow, it was right. it was interesting to because it talked about boxes. And i was like, ya, i know all about boxes. I shall have to pick me up a copy so can reflect on it further.

Hmmm, lets see, christmas party tomorrow for ms society, christmas party next sunday for work. Gotta love christmas parties! Is anyone throwing a christmas party, perhaps i shall... I normally do actually. Hmm, do u guys wanna spend new years together? or have you already made plans? LOL i think december is one of my favouritist months... IM SO EXCITED!

Happy Christmas, Merry New Year!!

ttfn, Jaryd

SO!!!!!!!!!! I WISH I WERE A JEDI!!!!!!!! the best part about the boys own jedi handbook was the light sabers! And the fact that i met the lead previously. Anyway, they were suped up flashlights with gels in them and they fought in the fog. It was fucking amazing!!!! Ya, so i have been letting my geek show A LOT lately, first trying to learn to play magic, then realizing tonite that i know waaaaaay to much about star wars and i am in denile... Then I had a conversation with Tara about D&D... wow... crazy... Umm ya, so couch wrestling, fun times, I hate to disappoint you, but I am spending the afternoon with Ian Tomorrow. So no pinning me down and torturing me til next week :D good times.

Not good times: coming home at ten at nite to find a drugged up demon talking about every detail of your life to someone who youve met a couple of times.

Well, i am all around in pain. Its good times. Gotta love pain. and frustration. and every other negitive emotion that is attainable. So many thoughts, so little time... Lets see, cannot breath... Feelin' sick... gonna pass out. My cheeks are all red...my fingers are cold. Definatly not normal....

I almost made a pretty good metaphor today. I shall improve on it and then blog about it... maybe

ttfn, Jaryd

dependent


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

you are chelsea hepner.. people think youre a lot
sleazier than you are.. and you will let people
do what ever they want if its early in the
morning.


which hb slut are you?
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You're just the happy go-lucky type. You might have
your pet peeves, but other than that, you're
mainly calm. Blending in with your
surroundings, you're the type of person who
everyone likes. Usually it's you who cracks
jokes at social gatherings - after all,
laughter is the best medicine. Sometimes you
pretend to be stupid, but in all actuality, you
could be the next Einstein.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
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nah nah. you are simply not a bimbo. well. its sort
of good. you are independent, strong and a
career-minded gurl. way to go girl!! three
cheers for ya! but sumtimes.. dun be too strong
and stubborn. guys need to get their ego
boosted u noe. *winks* it'll do you good. you
are purrfectly normal. kindly rate please?


Are You A Bimbo? ( a definitely must-take quiz for gals, well...guys. if you want.)
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You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
meh... who knows?!

You are Orange.
You are outgoing and optomistic. You always try to
find the bright spot in everything. You are
energetic and people are naturally attracted to
you. However, you are not always sure of what
your purpose or goals are.
Most Compatible With: Fresh Mint


Which Tic-Tac Flavor Are You?
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Hey! James and I are the same flavour!!!


Your element is Water. You are a deep person and a
good communicator. Incredibably loving and
loyal when your trust is gained and you are
fairly mature.Myterious to the utmost water is
in everything. One can be an Ocean or a river
but nobody truly knows you.


What's your element
brought to you by Quizilla
I think this is the best test i have ever taken. And the truest...

Ok, so i had a pretty good day. I went to all of my classes. Had some fun times fonging with Kels and Ian (separatly). Then after school i sat in on a magic game, my soul is crying as we speak. And you know what, saying waaaa and slowly moving my hands out of an x formation and into a perpedicular one TOTALLY GRANTS ME KUNG FOO POWERS. For this, i got the shit kicked out of me. Well, not really, i dont even remember half of it. I remember anthony giving tristan a wedgy, then they decided to try to give me one, which i fought quite well until someone took my sock, then i freeked out. The next thing i remember is being on the couch with an anthony wrapped around my right leg and gripping my wrist, and a tristan wrapped around my left leg gripping my wrist. then, the tickling, oh god the tickling! and the touching... inappropriate touching and unfair too... it was not happy cuz i couldnt move. ANd believe me i tried... I cant beleive anthony ran away and left tristan to suffer my wrath, which by the way was some of me fighting instead of defending myself like i usually do from him. It is not over, oh no, there shall be suffering for you all. Beware my pretties, there shall be revenge!!! muahahahah!!!!
umm... yes...
i believe that is all...
ttfn, Jiggy

AHH!! LUNCHEON!!! BAH!

Ok, so i think a good friend of mine is finally realizing how s/o's can have such a huge impact on a friendship. I dunno, im kinda happy about that... that you get it i mean. And that maybe you see y i was a lil upset. I hate to say it but s/o's cause tension in friendships, so its even worse when both people are like siblings to you! its stupid, but i cant help but feel jealous. The fact that you are willing to end a friendship for him frightens me. I know you are close and i dont want to offend you. So please dont take it like that. I am so jealous of you and him cuz i have to share you both with each other, i like spending time with you both, but sometimes i just wanna be with one or the other. Its not the same though. I feel guilty if i even thinking about asking one of you to chill with me and not the other. Do you understand what i mean? it just changes perceptions. I dunno if you will understand how i feel, but i know you wont completely. I really want things to stay the same. I hope you know that.

Jiggy...
ps. I got that pic back, i shall give you it tomorrow...

Ok so i should never ever be permitted to do these again. Too many quizzes!!!
AHH! So ya, I dont really have much to say. Except that a couple things surprised me last nite and they kinda put me off guard. How can you know that? No one else does. Stop trying it. I hate it. But not really. i wish you would stop thinking like that though. just ignore me k!! yay

ttfn, Jaryd

8 quizzes... sad...

hug from behind - you like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. you tend to be serious and emotional.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
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You are The Twins, from "The Matrix."
Bad, but with a sexy streak- surprisingly
refreshing. You know what you want, when you
want it.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
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A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.
Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.
Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.
EXTRA: Your personality type is the only one on
this quiz that would enjoy www.life-
blood.vze.com Check it out!


What kind of girl are you?
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this is so not true... i rarely play video games... just these stupid damn quizzes!

You are a true nature girl!


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( Anime Pics )
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-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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right, i dont think i cheated...

your asshole.


What swear word are you?
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Bondage movie! You're into BSDM (Bondage &
Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances
are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses,
and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a
little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby!


What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla
interesting... i guess...

ps... i apoligize to 2 people and only 2 people for my stupidity on friday. I hope you know who you are. it was rude of me, and i shall try to improve on that.
:)

otay. First order of the day. I believe that being offered a beer last nite after work was the best part of my day. Only because it was from an authoritative figure at work. I declined because I am responsible and refuse to drink and drive. so instead i stayed after work for a while and smoked a bit, while watching them do some drinking. That is all fine and dandy. Until the weed came out. I must say it was kind of unnerving seeing 7 of my co-workers open a door in the lounge and form a circle. I watched from a distance. It was interesting i must say. For the most part, i have a strictly professional relationship with most of them. But this was odd. I have only been working there for a month and I witnessed them smoke up. I felt like i should be doing some sort of commentary on the situation, but instead i just sat there and studied them, like an endangered species. Im quite proud of myself for not taking one toke. It could have been quite easy. Its funny, Luke is so proud of hiring me. Im his first hire and he gloats about me all the time. I have discovered that he is super touchy while drunk/stoned. Not in an uncomfortable way, just a, im gonna leave my arm around you and hug you all the time and then tell everyone else to hug you. lol. funny. He looks a bit like chester from linkin park, but hotter. That is all from work i suppose. Except that I made my own dinner last nite. Maybe i shall be cooking sometime soon. I hope so...

I have bruises everywhere. some i know where/who they came from, others it is a mystery. I shall assume from the stupidity of running into a circle of people running into a circle. Yes...

What else to say... I believe that is all. For now, perhaps i shall be back later. Who knows?!

ttfn, Jaryd

Damsel in distress. Typical. Every movie has to
have one. Giggling, flirty, and usually
entirely underdressed, everything than can go
wrong, will go wrong when you are around. You
always need rescuing, and usually at the worst
times. Can't you do anything on your own?


The Zombie Movie Survival Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla


and now... i am sad beyond belief...

Ok so hooray for being warm and in my own house. First of all. Black Comedy. Is over. tear, and yay at the same time. I dont know how to feel about it, Besides a lil crappy about my drunken fling onstage of broken glass and broken hearts.
Good times:
Hearing people laugh at me.
pretending to be drunk onstage.
old people PDA hehe...
rapping with Cody while in our costumes
playing such a fun character
meeting people that I otherwise probably would not have met
getting a huge from Doug (so hot, too bad hes married to Ms. S :P)
the applause
being able to be a part of something special
Not so good times:
the stress
having to put up with people with no respect for themselves or anyone around them
the journey ending...

I was going to quote a song in my lil speech thingy to Mr. J, but I forgot. This is so true though. Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end. An excellent line.

Ok, the Party. Well, I had a wonderful mini party on the stairs. It was good times. Anything warm is good. I haven't consumed alcohol in a while. At least a large enough amount to really alter my mood a lot. I cant say there was really any point in it. (One thing I wanna say, I consider you an awesome friend. And I hope you feel the same way. I dunno, I've noticed that things have changed for me. In a good way. And hopefully this only gets better.) That being said, I probably will not drink excessively for quite a while. Although, if I hadn't that party coa would have been much greater and I would have spent most of my nite sitting outside in the snow alone. Because that makes me happy in those situations. (thank you for making me promise not to sit out there for more than 2 hrs all together, i probably only spent half a hour out there and I was never alone. Proud of me? I hope so.) that's pretty much it. Except for the nudity and sexual tendencies that come out at every party. (I still don't know how you knew my little secret. I kinda avoided it for a while. It makes me happy that we are close enough for you to just know that)

This year has already been such an awesome year for new found super awesome friendships. Its really awesome and just now I realized how much I appreciate my new friendships and always my old ones. Its amazing how you can know someone for so long and then all of the sudden you realize how close youve become and how much closer you want to be. There are five guys I am talking about. In the past month especially you have greatly influenced who I am for the better. And for that I am eternally grateful. I hope you know that. I cannot believe I got 5 new super awesome close friends in one month. That rocks! Thanks guys.

that is all I suppose. I must clean my room up a bit before work. It is an unhappy room. So is my car. But guess who isn't unhappy? ME! hehe... yay.

ttfn, The Original Naughty Fish, Jiggy

What Irrational Number Are You?

You are e Of all the irrational numbers, you are the most intense. By nature you are powerful, although sometimes you can spiral out of control. You are good with money; the interest seems to just compound whenever you are near. When someone uses the word "exponential" they are probably talking about you. In some ways you and φ are a nearly perfect match. Not to mention how attractive φ is. But then, there is the remarkable π... Your lucky number is approximately 2.71828183

Shiny Lemur Straif's Blog

Otay, i had a super awesome afternoon with Jeff and Anthony. Fun times, dirty talk. 2 Naughty fish + one raging bull = good times. Hehe... hehe, overnite, whos nite? *Jaryd and Jeff turn to anthony*... hehe.. so great. also great, Anthony falling on his ass while getting into my car, funnier, Jeff falling and recovering before falling on his ass in the EXACT same spot as anthony. Funniest! Anthony and Jeff pushing the boat.... hehe, dirty boat pushers. lol, pusher... o god. Ok so then we all went and tried to return metis Joshua Tattersall born Nov 20, 1981 in BC's wallet. I didnt even look at in it. I MEAN AT IT! hehe... but he wasnt home, so i left several msgs and then we dropped it in a box. a male box. (ftr i purposely misspelled that so jeff would laugh). then Anthony put on this fake irish accent in coffee time and we did a lil video on jeffs digital camera, that was so funny. My weaknesses are homosexuals and the irish, what can i say. well, i have way more weaknesses but they shall not be mentioned. speaking of which, i was informed of something this evening and became
quite sad, quite quite sad actually, then i went into hysterics because of this one phrase, "I stole Dustin's Buddha face then he gave i to me afterwards, so, I will glue it back into place" that is so dirty. I love my dirty mind. It has nothing to do with immaturity because, well, that is just a talent, i can turn the simplest statement dirty... hehe. Naughty Fish. Well, i am either off to laugh, or cry. Probably both eventually.

ttfn, Naughty Fish

Well, first audience sort of performance... all i can say is meh... I dont know why. It was supposedly good, people liked it, but it was meh for me. hmm, i dont know why. Im really glad property went well. Good for them!

Lets see, what else to say. I feel sick, i should eat something besides coffee. Maybe i would if i wasnt afraid i was gonna throw up. Its not really happy.

I am sad. i hate feeling like this. This should be a happy week, stressful but happy. It is not. grr

ttfn, Jaryd

ok, so ya, i had a super awesome day at work yesterday. I was sooo tired when i got there, then, i inhaled some caffine and nicotine and glucose. I was good for the nite. We werent that busy, but there were some really funny things. This group of drunks came in and one of them decided to go down 2 flights of stairs on a crazy carpet. They promised to behave so they got seated, well some of them were underage and decided to put a rum bottle in their purse, then proceeded to LITERALLY pour their purse in the coke. Retards. Luke is quite possibly the funniest person at BP"S... Yesterday he told me to sit on his lap and we'd talk about the first thing that popped up... And on friday - theres this box in the kitchen called the "hot box" and the cooks put really hot pans and shit in it so i dont burn my hands- I looked at a full hot box and said, yay i love the hot box, and Luke responded with, i like hot boxes too. Horny bastard. He so sweet though... I am quite well like there apparently, and i may be cooking soon, cuz i have a better attitude than dirty Eric. lol, sorry nm... Oh i was so happy, Mike (not red mike) came and visited me at work! then Chels, it was super! Then i finished in record time. 3:22, i was so stoked. whoa, i just wrote stoked. weird. ANYWAY, I was home by 4am. it was awesome. Then i fell alseep thinking about one thing that never seems to go away.

My sub concious is telling me something. More that something is going to happen. I dont know what it is. But i feel it. I cant tell if its negitive or positive... grr, if someone wants to tell me that would be super cuz its like im being sent messages between the lines. maybe im just crazy... that would be fun. Crazy people always have fun, and thats cuz they choose not to remember the bad times.

Theres this chain email that i keep getting. How bad are you? or something. Its funny because everytime i take it, im a lil more bad. Its funny.

I have discovered a song again that i have always liked. Maybe its just cuz i like treble charger. Or maybe its because it reminds me of something. whatever, doesnt matter.


ttfn, Jaryd

ok, sunday, sometime before 4... between 1 and 4... in the pm, not the am, even though i, sadly, will be awake... those are the numbers, if you have any questions call my cell, 803 5389... im off to Isaacs first birthday party!!!
ttfn, Jaryd

I forgot to say something. And i forgot to remember to say something. And now, I cant say anything...

Ok so, i had a super day. I think. Day as in before the nite time came. I got a huge massive compliment that floored me, was productive in my classes, went to tech theatre, left tech theatre, learned something from someone who really really cares about me. Had the last dress rehearsal of 2003 (not so great) then found out that the woman i met the first day of my 13 year career, the person who supported me through all of my endevours, the one who i call when my world is torn to peices and i feel like i have nothing left, the person i almost lost a few years ago, my friend who takes me out everytime our schedules allow, and the one who has been to every single one of my elementary, junior high and senior high plays, is dying of cancer. It has spread. The thought of not seeing her or being able to hear her voice frightens me. It amazing how badly you can need someone. To be able to hear someone you love say that it will be alright is taken for granted by most. Those words can be the only thing that gives me hope. What if i cant hear them? What if we cant talk about her 3 kids, my love life, her new house, my parents, her new class of kids? Why did this have to happen to her? Why does it have happen to a person so full of love and support? Why does it have to be true? What if the cheimo doesnt help? Will it leave her weakened worse by it then the cancer itself? I cant imagine how her family feels. Her mother, her husband, 3 kids... this is so wrong. She should not have to go through all of this pain and suffering. If I could take from her, i would do it in a second. If i knew that that would make her healthy for the rest of her life and free from the pain, I would do it in a heart beat. I wish I wasnt so helpless. There is nothing i can do. Except cherish every moment with her and hope that it is not the last. Not the last time i see her, hear her voice, or feel her love for me.

Our Lady Peace - Thief


I don't wanna understand this horror
there's a weight in your eyes i can't admit
everybody ends up here in bottles
but the name tags are the last thing you wanted
as the world explodes you fall out of it
and you can't let go because this
will not go away.....
there's a house built out in space

and can't see the thief that lives inside of your head
but i can be some courage at the side of your bed
and i don't know what's happening and i can't pretend
but i can be all, be all

someone help us understand who ordered
this disgusting arrangement of time and the end
i don't wanna hear who walked on water
cause the hallways are empty, clocks tick
as the world implodes we fall in to it
and we cant go home because this
will not go away.....
there's a house built out in space

and i cant see the thief that lives inside your head
but i can be some courage at the side of your bed
and i don't know what's happening and i can't pretend
it's a long, long get away, it's a long, long get away
make it home again, make it home again
it's a long, long get away, it's a long, long get away

and i cant see the thief that lives inside your head
but i can be some courage at the side of your bed
and i don't know what's happening and i can't pretend
but i can be your, be your
but i can be your, be your
it's a long, long get away

Guess what guys. i dont care! Im gonna post a damn song if i wanna! AND i also dont care because there is a sock thief in our midst! either that or he wants people to think he is a sock thief... both of which make me cry inside.


Blink 182 - Feeling This

(Get ready for action!)
I got to regret right now (I'm feeling this)
The air is so cold and null (I'm feeling this)
Let me go in her room (I'm feeling this)
I wanna take off her clothes (I'm feeling this)
Show me the way to bed (I'm feeling this)
Show me the way you move (I'm feeling this)
Fucking is such a blur (I'm feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I'm feeling this)

[Chorus:]
Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mine
I'll leave when I wanna

Where do we go from here
Turn all the lights down now
Smiling from ear to ear (I'm feeling this)
Our breathing has got too loud (I'm feeling this)
Show me the bedroom floor (I'm feeling this)
Show me the bathroom mirror (I'm feeling this)
We're taking this way too slow (I'm feeling this)
Take me away from here (I'm feeling this)

[Chorus x2]

This place was never the same again
After you came and went
How can you say you meant anything different
To anyone standing alone
On the street with a cigarette
On the first night we met

Look to the past
And remember her smile
And maybe tonight
I can breathe for awhile
I'm not in the seat
I think I'm fallin' asleep
But then all that it means is
I'll always be dreaming of you

[Chorus x5]
[During Last Choruses In The Background:]
(I'll be alone if you're feeling
So lost and disillusioned)

Ok... this is the third time ive heard this from you. and this is the last time im gonna say this... STOP HAVING SEX!!! i dont care. I only hope you learn what it means to have a child and how difficult you can be. Oh nm your not the child in this case. grrr... babies having babies... dumb.

Hello! I just did an essay. An in class essay. Except. Im not in class, nor have i been for a while. funny... ANYWAY. I bought sum movies yesterday... Finding Nemo, The Matrix Reloaded, Divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood, A christmas Carol, and... what else... i know there was another... hmm... wait... SLEEPERS, i think that was it... they are all good movies... Reloaded was kinda meh, but whatever, i enjoy Keanu Reeves no matter what. Finding nemo was so fun!!! I LOVE FUN! Im really happy right now... hmm... why? i dont know... Maybe cuz im having a bit of a get together on sunday... Grey cup sunday... for the grey cup. I shall invite a small bunch of people for a small party. my parental units are supposedly leaving for the day. That means nothing. Plans change.
Im going out for lunch tomorrow... Its gonna be wierd, not because of who im going with, but because she's potentially dieing. again. I may lose her. Have you ever noticed that you dont know how much you like or need someone until they are gone. Well, i am the opposite. I notice how much i need them in my life just before they leave. I realize how i take them for granted that they'll always be there and that i will always get to see them. When, in actuality, they could just up and leave me. Whether they want to or not. I dont want anyone to ever leave me for any reason. It hurts too much...

Well, I must say that Tristans blog is kinda weird. Funny, but weird. And i must state that the "cloud of ass theory" has nothing to do with alcohol consumption **cough** the rock **cough**. There was no way that was fun at all. Although, I must say how proud i am that you are using my cloud of ass theory in 2 of your blogs. Even though I am soooo unpretty and unintelligent. right.

Moving on

I absolutely love Ian. How could I not. Ok that was a bad question. The reason I love Ian is because Last nite, he called me and left me a message. It basically consisted of, Hey Jaryd, I know ur at work, but I just wanted to make sure your life is great, I love you, and goodnite. How could you not love someone who calls you just because. The only thing that sucks about it is that i know i will always love him.

ttfn, Jaryd

I am sick and tired of them living through me. Understandably they have the knowledge of almost 100 years between them, but give me a fucking break. For me to come home (at 4am) with new additions to my wall (fucked up posters) and a 3 page typed letter is ridiculous. The letter basically consisted of my horrible daughter tendencies. My first instinct is to retaliate. Dispelled. Then to run. Stop. And now I have decided upon nothing. Or rather the doing of nothing. Nothing but sit in yet another box so that they get nothing from me. Although, I am seriously debating on whether or not to take the car on a slight road trip. After all, it is a long weekend. Who's with me?! They are taking away 1 of the 2 things that I love without hating in this "family". One being the dog and the other, the car. I have also been instructed to surrender half of every paycheck to them. For savings for University of course. Except that Im not going. So why should they get that money. They didn't work for it. And thusly they get none of it. I have a lot of pent anger. About 12 years of it. Im afraid it will all come out in the next 4 days. I have the perfect song for Satan. Numb by Linkin Park. I just keep listening to it over and over again...

I have to go to work...

Jaryd

I just had the best time. You will never guess where, so ill just tell you. In the trunk of my car. YES. I drove Em home and then... we opened the trunk and sat in it. Just for fun. It was great.

I just realized something new today. Not really new. Something to add onto my frustration. It is becoming a frequent occurance. And by that I mean it has happened more that it should in the past year. Or maybe its just happened more when i compare it to other things and i should forget about it completly. I wish i could...

I have a movie date with Jeff!! YAY! on monday... Im goin to jeffs and were gonna watch 3 movies!!! Rules of attraction, Dirty dancing and Finding Nemo!!! YAY! im so excited!!!
ttfn, Jaryd

meow. hehe. someone just said that to me. i came online, and they said, meow. hehe. yay. anyway. i wish to be cured of all crazyism, physical sickness and emotional anguish. I know i am asking too much.

I cried tonite. I havent cried in what seems like forever. I used to cry all the time. Now, never. Even when the people i love are sad, dieing, lonely. Or when im sad. I dont cry. There is only one person at this point and time that can make me cry. Really make me cry. So much so that i wish to crawl into a little ball and sleep for eternity knowing that they will never be able to make me cry again. I think i am strong and nothing they say or do will bring me down. It never works though. I can only laugh for so long until i break and sit in my box. I believe i am becoming too comfortable there.

I hate when someone talks to me on msn and i have no idea who they are. it makes me sad. Then theres the whole "bland generic conversation" until something clicks in your mind and your like OH! JASON! or he says, do u know who this is and your busted! :(

Selfish people. People who make eveyrthing about themselves and get joy out of causing pain in others. how can people be like that? i dont get it. someone explain.

ttfn, Jaryd i think

Hello...

Hmm... I havent blogged in a while...
ok...
Friday, halloween.
memorable. Too much gold, or not enough, i cant decide. Fun times all around. Party, Yay. Large cloud of ass. Evil blanket theives.
Saturday. morning... stupid. drive to bragg creek...meh. I was with Geralds "on a break" gf. Ya, we talked about him the whole way there. i kinda considered rolling my car... then i realized i should be punished for even thinking that about my baby, and proceeded to listen to her and give her my opinion. saturday nite was fun. Dancing is awesome. With boys is fun, gurls as well. :D I taught people the dance to Time Warp... good times. The guys wanted to steal my car... it was funny. umm... the car ride back was fun... i was by myself. temporarily blinded by a mofo mack truck. BUT i heard some excellently horrible retro!!! EVERYBODY HURTS!!!!! and tracy chapman, which made me happy, cuz i like her. and i havent heard her in a while. umm, i stopped in to see renee on my way into town. I got pics of my nephew and beautiful best friend. I love them both soooooo much. hmm... Then, I got home at 2... fell asleep at approximately 330pm until 7 am monday morning. And i am so pissed that i missed 6 feet under. grrr

ya... im sort of stuck in a moment. It pisses me off cuz it would be so much easier if i wasnt. but i am, and thusly i must lock it away in my mind until i least expect it to pop up again. it always does. something always reminds me of it. a phrase, a picture, a song, a movie, then i am back in that single moment. maybe i should find a new moment. It has moved far far away. Until i am asked about it. then it seems so close. But i know it is hundreds of miles gone.

Have you ever been low?

ttfn, Jaryd

PS. Jeff is so smart. I never thought he would have known...hmm