Ok so, i had a super day. I think. Day as in before the nite time came. I got a huge massive compliment that floored me, was productive in my classes, went to tech theatre, left tech theatre, learned something from someone who really really cares about me. Had the last dress rehearsal of 2003 (not so great) then found out that the woman i met the first day of my 13 year career, the person who supported me through all of my endevours, the one who i call when my world is torn to peices and i feel like i have nothing left, the person i almost lost a few years ago, my friend who takes me out everytime our schedules allow, and the one who has been to every single one of my elementary, junior high and senior high plays, is dying of cancer. It has spread. The thought of not seeing her or being able to hear her voice frightens me. It amazing how badly you can need someone. To be able to hear someone you love say that it will be alright is taken for granted by most. Those words can be the only thing that gives me hope. What if i cant hear them? What if we cant talk about her 3 kids, my love life, her new house, my parents, her new class of kids? Why did this have to happen to her? Why does it have happen to a person so full of love and support? Why does it have to be true? What if the cheimo doesnt help? Will it leave her weakened worse by it then the cancer itself? I cant imagine how her family feels. Her mother, her husband, 3 kids... this is so wrong. She should not have to go through all of this pain and suffering. If I could take from her, i would do it in a second. If i knew that that would make her healthy for the rest of her life and free from the pain, I would do it in a heart beat. I wish I wasnt so helpless. There is nothing i can do. Except cherish every moment with her and hope that it is not the last. Not the last time i see her, hear her voice, or feel her love for me.

Our Lady Peace - Thief


I don't wanna understand this horror
there's a weight in your eyes i can't admit
everybody ends up here in bottles
but the name tags are the last thing you wanted
as the world explodes you fall out of it
and you can't let go because this
will not go away.....
there's a house built out in space

and can't see the thief that lives inside of your head
but i can be some courage at the side of your bed
and i don't know what's happening and i can't pretend
but i can be all, be all

someone help us understand who ordered
this disgusting arrangement of time and the end
i don't wanna hear who walked on water
cause the hallways are empty, clocks tick
as the world implodes we fall in to it
and we cant go home because this
will not go away.....
there's a house built out in space

and i cant see the thief that lives inside your head
but i can be some courage at the side of your bed
and i don't know what's happening and i can't pretend
it's a long, long get away, it's a long, long get away
make it home again, make it home again
it's a long, long get away, it's a long, long get away

and i cant see the thief that lives inside your head
but i can be some courage at the side of your bed
and i don't know what's happening and i can't pretend
but i can be your, be your
but i can be your, be your
it's a long, long get away