16 shooting stars, a blanket and a sash...

Pre decided entry: Do you ever just breathe in and then when youre exhauling feel like theres this huge rock pulling down your heart? I do. all the time.

On a different note: when someone says that they will spend the rest of their life making it up to you, what the fuck are you supposed to say. i mean, i dont even know anymore. i know that im tired of crying about it and i wish she would just go away. is that too much to ask, just to be left alone? it rarely affects me anymore and then out of the blue theres a message from her. i cant tell if she means it or if shes pulling me back in. im just not strong enough to deal with her yet, to process things in a way that my concious mind can pick up whats bullshit and whats real. does real even exist, in any sense? we assume that we know the real from the fake but we've all been taken. and this feeling that i get whenever someone mentions her, or she messages me, has to go away. i cant take it. fuck.

ttfn, Jaryd