Also today on vibe, one of the radio announcers said "Cock" Instead of "Coffee"

good times

Ok, All of the sudden my life is all turned upside down and complicated. You know how i was so happy today? Ya that wasnt really happiness, that was hysteria. Seriously, oh, and dont think that when i left school it stopped. Oh no. It continued the whole, nite. Until i got into the truck to come home. Then i just felt like throwing up. I dont know what happened. It was obviously a combination of things. The last time I went hysterical was in March (by the way, still really sorry about that). AHHHHHHHHHH my thoughts are all in a Jumble!!! A THOUGHT JUMBLE. I think im going to have a little bit of a break down. Perhaps some organization is in order. Here goes.

1. I dont know why it bothers me soo very much. But it does.
2. Im so very unorganized for grad.
3. Im so very unprepared for Ickies.
4. (just so you know, i just wrote 3, again. gah) I feel like im setting myself up for a HUGE MASSIVE DEPRESSION inducing fall. It sucks. A lot. So much so, that im super worried. AHH
5. What if what i think i want, i dont, or i do, but i also maybe want something else. And what if i cant choose?
6. My horoscope is creepily correct. I dont really like it. 2 Days in a row.
7. Period 4 spares are running out.
8. AND im supposed to work on friday at 1pm, BUT I HAVE THE FUCKING GRAD REHEARSAL AT 1250... this is horse shit. Did anyone else know that we had that fucking thing then. No, i didnt think so.

Ahh Ha. I have found a solution. Well, temporary anyway. I havent cried since opening nite. I have refused. Thats what i need to do. It always makes you feel better. To just let it all out. Except, now i wish i hadnt promised myself i wouldnt cry anymore. Shit.

ttfn, so un-jiggy...

PS. I have my own set of words, and rules to go along with them. ta ha.
PPS. Today. I saw the funniest thing. A middle aged man riding a bicycle. With his huge ass crack hanging out. TEEHEE. The best part is, that i made Tristan look too. I dont know why, but he didnt think it was that funny.

So, tonite Jolene comes back. I dont really have anything to say about it, besides the fact that shes porbably mad at us, cuz she hasnt called since the day after she left. Maybe shes too busy hanging out with people who enjoy her company. All i have to say to that is, They dont live with her. But, nonetheless, i hope she had a good trip.

Im rather excited about grad. It should be fun. And how could it not, because i get to dress up pretty and ride in a shiny car. Hello. So much fun...

Ickies... Oh dear. I have so much to do. On the upside I have finished planning Mr. Jobb's thing from the grad 12's. Well most of it anyway, theres always the possiblility that something will change. But i feel a little better anyway. Now all i have to do is... well, everything else on my to do list.

This week im gonna be at the hospital most of the time, pretending to have asthma and such. Good times.

ttfn, Jaryd

Sup Homies. I quite enjoy the song, "The Reason" by Hoobastank... well because, "im not a perfect person"... ANd I wish to thank whoever Nylcaj is for... wait a minute. I think somethings going on around here!!! tee hee. sneaky sneaky.

Tomorrow Im taking my mom far far away. By which i mean out of town. To visit my uncle. It should be fun times. I havent seen him in a long time. And hopefully Jason will be there so we can chillax in the nillax... word

Speaking of the north, I cannot wait for summer, holy shit. It seems my good friend Cory has nothing to do and he wants to come visit me and go on the potential road trip!! HOW EXCITING IS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im totally psyched...BOOYAW


YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAY

I saw pervert tonite... it was good. The local actor i fawn over was in it. hes so freeking talented.

umm... ya... so uh... bye, i guess

ttfn, Jaryd

HEY YOU!!!!!!!!!! comment for the love of anything you love comment on something anything... Please!!!!!!!!

ill give you a hug...

tee hee,
Jaryd

I wish to comment on one single statement that i have always known to be false. And as soon as someone says it I feel this emence feeling whell up inside me and all of the sudden something stops. Because what if they just lied to me. What if they said this out loud to me and then accidently forget? And you cant know for sure. Its like an unpromised promise. I dont know about you but this has been said to me very frequently throughout my life. With the exception of a few, Its also been a lie. And i would rather have it never said to me than have it said and ignored.

"friends" vs Friends

"friends"
are too busy for you
say they will call and dont
say its alright and its not
stab you in the back and expect you to forgive them
make you feel small

Friends
Call you for no reason but to say hello and i love you
Will wait for you until you are ready, emotionally and physically
write you
dream of you
support your decisions even if they dont agree
Are waiting for you when you decision falls through
are willing to work through a disagreement because they know it will better your friendship in the long run
forgive


"friends"
walk away

Friends
come back

I wish to retract a statement made earlier. We are friends.

Still waiting...

Jarebear

Note::: This message has been edited today (May 25th) because my friend Anthony Galati made it crystal clear, that i, am slightly special...:::End Note

Heres the thing. At first I was super happy about the events that have transpired lately, but the more i think about it, the more hesitant i am. I would love to say that I am a person who lives in the now and lives each day to the fullest. In truth, I am far from it. When i know someone is leaving or something is ending, i prepare myself. By which i mean i withdraw. From everyone and everything. I dont want it to be like that. It was like that last time and i ruined it because i thought about the day after tomorrow. As opposed to living in that last minute with you. Then my life, as i knew it at that time, ended. It hurt so bad that I would wake up crying. And now im all excited about it happening again. What the fuck is wrong with me? I hate that there is always 2 sides to everything for me. I can never make a decision because both sides seem good. Its always my heart against my mind. Ultimately its a battle, because my brain knows what to do to protect myself emotionally, but my heart is telling me that i need to take chances and live in the moment and open myself up. With all that comes pain, inevitably. Whenever something starts eventually the end will hurt. Even if its just a tiny bit. So I have to ask myself, Why would i succept myself to the injustices of the world, when i could indefinatly live in my own world free of pain? Why? hmm? Well, after the (enter hyperbole here)th time of asking this question, i think ive got it. Or at least a small part of it. It is just another circle in life. If you risk, you will love, then you will hurt, until you risk again. risk love hurt risk love hurt risk love hurt... its a circle... see the circle? If you fall out of that circle then thats when you fall into a spiral of hurt... and only hurt. Well, I dont want to hurt. So now i have a goal, especially for the 3 months coming up. I want to take more risks in my life and maybe there will be more love.

Measure in love...

ttfn, Jaryd

I just need to say... That I got my answer. It seems as though we have this connection and its been there since the very first day i met you. Its been a year since Ive seen his face close to mine, but when i dream of him, he seems to respond to that...

Its lovely to know that he's dreaming of me too...


ttfn, SUPER JIGGY

OTAFBFAGG


A long time ago I thought you were right.
That this time it would be different.
Then you disappeared
just like everyone else...
So when you reappeared
I was so happy it made me sick.
But then disappeared again.
Everytime you reappear
I can't help but feel the same way.
As though nothing has changed
and im stuck in that elevator
I've missed you so much.
It feels like you are always close though.
But that is only a feeling
it's not solid
Just like my dreams about you,
then you reappear.
Do you dream of me?
It would seem as though you do.
If you don't, then the game doesn't make any sense
and you wouldn't reappear at all...
Would you?

You are a bright light that others follow. You are everything that you want to be. The time is now, to do and be who you want. If you want to be happy, be. Let go of the heavy burdens you bear, and let freedom and joy lighten your step.
Breathe and feel whole.



someone emailed me this today... i dont know who it was but i thought it was pretty...

ttfn, Jaryd

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

other people should learn this as well.

Guess who has a gig? Thats right! Me! YAY!

quite happy right now.

today i talked to 2 people that i feel like i dont talk to enough and i have missed both of them dearly!!!

At any rate, i just got back from seeing the movie, Van Helsing... may i just say one thing. I wish that i too could have an orgasm whilst swinging through the air on a rope and catching a needle filled with "the cure". **Dramatic Pause**

that is all i have to say. by which i mean, it was pretty good. I screamed, laughed and cried. not actually cried, but ya know.

I loathe Mr.Walkers existance...

as well as others...

but for the most part im happy...

I dont know what im gonna do though. I cant seem to decide. GAH!

still happy!


ttfn, Jaryd...

(...)

Otay

1. I no longer have any desire to be youre friend. But I will.
2. I no longer have any desire to be youre friend. But I will.
3. I have no regrets about not being youre friend anymore. So im not.
4. All we're doing is one thing, with nothing behind it.
5. I hate when this happens.
6. I thought i would be more sad after festival, but i was not.
7. I am focussing completly on ickies.
8. I believe the fairy tale should end.
9. I missed Metallica on thursday. tear.
10. My sypathy levels have sunk for some people.
11. I went to all of my classes today.
12. Im actually applying myself in bio.
13. I had a good monday... whats up with that?
14. Dont touch me. It feels gross...

ttfn, Jarebear.
You fuck with me and you fuck with the whole trailer park, biotch!

Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
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You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear. What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

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More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

It rained today... the afternoon one was much better then the one i walked home it... warmer and less windy. Nonetheless i walked home, sang my favourite Josh Groban song, almost fell over and was soaking wet by the time i got home... I find that the rain makes me too reflective. Perhaps I just dont reflect enough. Reflecting always puts me in a crappy mood. Its always, Man, why did i do that/dont do that/didnt do that... Moreso the last one. Im not really a "go getter" type. Never have been, probably never will be... (insert sigh here)

Anyway, i am stupid indecisive about everything. This became super apparent to me on friday when i had 2 people i really wanted to see/hang out with and i could not decide... Thank you for deciding for me/staying at that whacked orgy party thing... gah, i dont know what i want...


Someone described themselves as a "love lover" today. That made me really happy. There should be more love in the world, and i am personally glad that i have recently contributed to the love factor... sweet, (in a deep voice) the love factor...teehee!



My biggest paragraph was about rain... that makes me sad.

May i state to everyone that reads this, i have a boyfriend. just so i dont have to go through the whole, WHAT!! omygod (insert a million questions about him here)... Apparently i dont talk about him enough... bah


im cold and tired...


ttfn, bitchy president

bloggy...


bloggy


Dont really have much to say, never do these days... "closing" nite is over... i cried. ill expand on my interior monologue at a later date.

Looking back on the party, i rather enjoyed myself. I missed the whacked out part, and got to play the responsible mama. oh ya. the i disappeared for a couple hours. (which was really the best part of my nite) I missed it a lot. And by it I mean you. I dont seem to be very good at evenly spreading my time... i either see some people all the time, or no people ever. I should work on that...

anyway... Im super tired... i should go to bed...

ttfn, Jaryd