*clears throat* I had a good day. a Great day. with a capital G. and now i think im going to vomit. and the feeling has mostly passed, so i shall continue writing. I now officially have no excuse not to go to university in the fall... holy shit. thats 2 seasons away! AH! so ya... this is me happy. Im Happy that i talked to Kenny. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes you need someone completely out of the loop to yell at you. lol. but needless to say, i didnt completely let the four fathers down. Anyway, i dont really have much to say other than that. well, i have a lot to say, but not here. *sigh* *girly thing* *sigh* *act like retard*

ttfn, Jaryd

I cant really stop doing the girly thing. Today i caught myself whistling... and skipping. i do not whistle and i rarely skip, and never around my house. i like it. its horrible and i like it.

and i also want to state that i can spell intoxicated. heh.

ttfn, :)

Resisting the urge to become extremely entoxicated for no reason what so ever...

Um, i feel kinda crappy today. I didnt want to get out of bed. But i did. Then i did some errands for my momma and myself. Im feeling incredibly unsatisfied but i cant find the reason why. I just am. My weekend has filled up though. sunday will not work now, cuz i have to work :( anyway, back to my being unsatisfied. I want to know why. So heres my elimination process. Its not my friends. that area is fine. Its not really work, though i have been there 5 months and maybe im getting a little bored. Its not school. I got 95% on my first assignment. It was about Dustins basement actually. How i grew up there, a bit, as a person. but ya. My parents are the same. Jolene lectured me about smoking today, same ol. and then for some reason we started talking about sex. and then she asked me if i was a virgin. so i told the truth. very weird. she kinda cried. but my mom was glad i finally told her, cuz its been over a year of my mom having to hide it. But ya, enough of that. So family is the same. The only thing that is new in my life is the introduction of this boy. and hes not even really new, just recent. And im not upset about that, for obvious reasons. After the elimination process im still in the same place. Not knowing. I, dehydrated. I have been for the past few days. i keep drinking water and milk and juice and it doesnt help. i even stopped drinking coffee. Maybe im mad at myself for smoking. and the fact that i hate the looks that my friends give me when they find out that ive started again. im the first one to admit that im weak. Perhaps i will work on that.

In the mean time ive decided that i need a change and normally that reflects in my hair. we'll shall see...

ttfn, Jaryd

Today, is my brothers birthday.


ttfn, Jaryd

Theres not enough years underneath this belt for me to admit the way that i felt...


1. I wish i had a river.
2. Jolene is a bitch
3. Cowboys was fun last nite, it wasnt the most fun i could have with my boots on, but fun times!
4. I have 2 knew favourite songs: Lucky, Seven Mary Three
Voodoo, Godsmack
They have really awesome voices.....
5. I miss hanging out with my boys
6. I saw this boy last nite that i had a huge crush on a few years ago. hes not as cute as i remember. i wonder why that is. i mean, the whole beer goggle thing doesnt work backwards does it? i probably just painted this obscure picture of him in my mind cuz i hadnt seen him for so long and so when i did see him, he seemed very different. hmm, oh well!
7. I wish i had the strength to follow through with my thoughts and those of others.
8. i deleted an old blog today that no one really knew about. its reason for creation was lame and it was just taking up space on my dashboard.
9. I worked today... it was alright
10. i did my homework
11. im kinda sleepy
12. i give up shopping.......................................!
13. at Cowboys, Dustin spilled a full drink all over himself. LOL. i couldnt stop laughing!!!
14. Happy Valentines Day.

raar.........

ttfn, Jiggy

GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! I HAD A REVELATION! and not the ice creamy treat. no. ok, ya know how you girls/guys think the hip lines on boys is hot? i figured out why. well, maybe. but it from when we were little! think about it, most of us played with barbies right? but we also had Ken dolls and all hen ever had were those lines. we have been brainwashed by the media and toy companies to believe that is the way it should be from the time we are like 3. we always knew there was supposed to be something more, but all we ever got to see where the lines. this makes sooo much sense to me, cuz ive always thought that those were hot, and Ken could be the cause of that. HAHAHAHAHA! im such a dork, i love it. think about it though, he was pretty much the first guy any of us saw naked. poor Ken... all he has are his hip lines... lol


ttfn, Jaryd!

So i am worried... I should have just asked for you to call me back. Can you come online please? i dont want to phone and ruin my devil/angel rep. lol. you know you can call me right. i know you dont like to but if you need to you can. day or night. 618 7801.........

That being said, i went to yoga this am and my hamstrings are KILLING me... something else thats killing me is Jolene. I fucking hate her. FUCKING HATE HER. i dont understand why she is sooo bloody miserable. FUCK. i cant even write all the shit shes done this week. its driving me crazy. RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!


so ya... the end i guess.

ttfn, Jiggy

here fishy fishy fishy! (if you cant see the writing, it says im 80% pisces)

You are 80% Pisces

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

thanks Jeff!

yo...

i just want you all to know that i didnt mean my last entry to be a reflection on you. i know u guys are here for me and i really appreciate that. Lauryn, i was talking to you about it, and then i wrote, and my entry was in no way directed at you in particular. It was just a generalization. Thank you for your support though, doll. And sorry about this afternoon too, today was just fucked up. I really wanted to go.


in other news, i went to a work partay. There was this incredible lesbian undertone. it was odd. especially cuz there was liquor and a hot tub. but anyway, i feel drained. soooo much estrogen in such a small space. i dont know how girls hang out with girls all the time or even some of the time. the only male there was Marlenes Chiwawa. i know i spelt that really wrong, but im tired. Theres some u's in there too, oh well. Im going to bed to sleep for a long time tomorrow. pfft, ya right.

ttfn, Jaryd...

So i had a long day. it started off with yoga at 630, volunteering at the Multiple Sclerosis Society til 1, lunch with my momma (not the long part, the nice part) then work til 6, volunteer ushering at ATP (good play btw, The Myth of Summer, some good quotes too) and then what just happened. Its very hard for me to be strong in front of my mother. Especially when i see her slowly deteriorating day by day... I want her to be so happy. There was a time when she didnt think that I loved her. And all i can do is tell her everyday and give her my time. Even if its just to rub her back when shes in pain or hug her when shes crying. I must admit that i dont know how to deal with this and as much as i know you want to help me, you cant. you dont understand. and i appreciate you being there for me, but you just dont know. its like a completely different, different something between day and nite. The way you see her and the way she lets me see her. i dont know why im trying to explain this. I do know that i need to go see someone about it. Thats progress. It still seems stupid to me though. Im not the one going through it all, im just an observer. I dont want to see my mom suffer anymore. Its like her soul is slowly dieing. Its her birthday at the end of this month. I will make it special.

On a completely different lighter note, my options are up to 4. i was having trouble with 2 and now i have 4. right now i dont want one of them. like thats anything new.

the end.

Maybe the boat is heading towards us?


Not much to say today, i worked and then hung out with Robyn, shes pretty awesome. But i did make some interesting plans for next week. Lauryn, what is it you always assume im going to say when i have something to say about a boy? you assume its Masud. and this time you assumed correctly. :)

umm, yes, yoga tomorrow. i hurt so very bad from tuesday... i havent actually done yoga since before christmas, not the full out stuff anyway.


Art is fun. Talking about art is more fun. Lovely times.

Im feeling amazed and all i can hear is Voodoo by Godsmack

ttfn, Jiggy

Hey there... So I heard today that Renee was talking about me to Kristy. Of course she makes it look like its all my fault her life is shit. I dont think ill ever fully escape her. not even in death. but i will admit that my life has been significantly less stressful for the past month. Oh, and she also kidnapped Isaac for a bit when Josh served her with custody papers. needless to say shes changed.

My new favourite show is House. Its very funny. Im watching right now on the computer. You know that movie that they make you watch in social 30? its called "Swing Kids". i really like it actually. but anyway the main swing kid is like the head guy of this hospital that my favourite show takes place in. you should check it out. its on at 10 on tuesdays... good times.


hmm, what else to say... i went out for coffee with Kristy tonite, it was fun. we stopped at Dustins after and Dustin and I beat each other up. good times again!

i dunno, i guess thats all. nothing really new. I have been having weird dreams lately though. Ive allowed people in my life to create clutter in my consciousness and its been spilling over a bit. It really only frustrates me more. i already have too many decisions to make and now i cant even split up my dreams from reality... thats what my last English teacher always defined craziness with. when the line between fantasy and reality blurs you become crazy. not saying that im crazy or anything *insert akward laugh here* Mr. White was a great teacher.

Oh ya... it rained tonite for a bit :)

ttfn, Jaryd