i am having a crappy week. well, not completely crappy, but mostly crappy. im trying to remember the good things that happened. *sigh* i kinda feel like im spiraling out of control.

everything is prettier 500 feet up

i had a very, very crappy day. i hate this bullshit. i cant stand coming home crying because of it. now im just angry.

that was the first part. the after work part was really really fun. i went up the tower. it was lovely. i revolved, i had a drink that i will never have to order again and my mom made me laugh so hard. then i went and hung out with Dave. and a bunch of other people. and i danced with Stephen twice. once we did the polka and the second time we did the jive to Crazy Little Thing Called Love, soooooo fun. I also saw this guy that i knew from long long ago, and he was all like, "hey, you come here often?" no... no i dont and you are lame.

ttfn, Jaryd

i need a pick me up...

its soo close to my favourite day of the year. super close, like 40 minutes away... Ya thats right, Christmas Eve Eve is my most favourite day of the year : D no need to tell me, i know im a dork. but i love it.

Gary told me he had a confession to make. he said that he has been looking everywhere for a hippopotamus for me. hehehe. and hes all upset that he cant find one. apparently im not the only one who wants a hippopotamus for Christmas. the Andrew told me that he told Gary to just get me a rhinoceros cuz its the closest thing to it and i said nu uh, no crocodiles or rhinoceros' i only like hippopotamus'.

I saw Helena tonite too... she just had her surgery today. shes sore, but really funny cuz of the pain meds shes on.

OH! my ecs teacher stopped by at work and dropped off a gift for me. surprises are happy. she sorta skipped around some bad news that im trying not to worry about. needless to say im worried.

everyone is vomitting at work.

i need to finish my shopping... GAH

we have a bottle of rum to finish... we should do that : P

ttfn, Jiggy

you have to be the center of your universe

tonite was pretty awesome. I walked into Gerrys tonite and Ryan greeted me with a "hello beautiful". hes so sweet. then Rebecca and i had a nice chat and i told her that i wanted to give this miserable server a christmas card. then we went to shoppers and got her a book, a santa sucker, a pack of her smokes and a card. we called a truce. then Ryan told me that shes never recieved a gift from a customer before and everyone else there has. she told Rebecca and I that she really liked it and thanked us. so hopefully that made her day a bit better. Rebecca told me that i was her best friend. she also asked me how i was. it occured to me that most of the time i really dont know how i am. mostly im everything at once. im happy about one thing, sad about something, and mad about another all the time. so i lie and generalize and say im good. good isnt the right word, but normal for me is always having mixed emotions about where my life is. Im spending Rebeccas first nite at her new place with her. and then Ryan, Rebecca and I are going to have a drunken movie filled sleepover. its gonna be awesome. i realized something tonite. ive been in denile for a while over it. so i guess the river ran dry. the truth came out and i think im ok with it. Rebecca gave me my Christmas present tonite. im excited. were gonna spend a day together and go to this art gallery and then to an art store where i get to spend some of her money and then to dinner at my favourite restaurant. it should be fun : ) what else... Ryan is awesome. He's really interesting to talk to and he appears to be far sighted. well actually, i think he just gets it. in general, whats happening obviously and what is not on the immediate surface he sees. its kind of odd because normally im that person that sees the obvious and the rest. mostly i just like his company and his honesty.

im off tomorrow/today... im gonna sleep. maybe wrap some more christmas presents. and eventually, im going to forgive her. then tell her that we cannot keep in contact. its a defense mechanism and it works. an opportunity has presented itself. soon i will have another way to express my artistic nature. im excited about it, hesitant, but excited.

ttfn, Jiggy.

i cant hear myself scream

i had a very upsetting day. probably one of the worst ive had in a while. and the more i think about it the more hurt i am. for some reason, i feel like i cant talk about it. like im not allowed. maybe im just trying to talk to the wrong person. maybe the people that i want to inquire never will and i should just accept that. i think its pretty lame though. and now i feel like i cant even write here because if i say something then it will only be taken offensively or that i dont appreciate any of my friends. im going back to putting a smile on my face and nodding in agreement but not responding verbally because its some form of inconvience when i speak. i wish that things worked in an even manner and that i didnt keep deleting what i want to write.

the play was magic though.

ttfn, Jaryd

i cant formulate a title, sorry...

i had this really cool conversation today. theres this guy who i see all the time and today he sat down for coffee and it was awesome. we talked about lots of things too. i always forget how much i enjoy meeting new people. sometimes i get too trapped in my own little bubble, then i meet someone and they expand it. that makes me happy.

holy hell yesterday was fucked up. i had fun and then i had a bit of a breakdown. i just had this feeling inside me that said, stop drinking in case you have to leave. and then later, i ran. i dont know what i was running from, but i drove away as fast as i could. then i wrote. i vomitted words on many pages. too many pages. then i went back, because i always go back. one day maybe i wont. at any rate, i saw the bright rainbow lights (which i enjoyed thoroughly) then i met some people that i knew and some i didnt, which was fun until i had that weird energy take over, then i had a meltdown (that was not fun), i was actually instructed to be happy, it was kinda funny but i think you had to be there, then i fell asleep on the floor in an apartment ive never been in to the sounds of Dr. Jones. If i hadnt been up for almost 24 hours straight i totally would have finished it. Indiana Jones is such a player, heh.

i saw Just Friends tonight and it was so funny : P

yesterday time stopped for a minute. well it felt like a minute. not sure how i feel about it.

umm... i dont know.

ttfn, Jiggyish

i cant formulate a title, sorry...

i had this really cool conversation today. theres this guy who i see all the time and today he sat down for coffee and it was awesome. we talked about lots of things too. i always forget how much i enjoy meeting new people. sometimes i get too trapped in my own little bubble, then i meet someone and they expand it. that makes me happy.

holy hell yesterday was fucked up. i had fun and then i had a bit of a breakdown. i just had this feeling inside me that said, stop drinking in case you have to leave. and then later, i ran. i dont know what i was running from, but i drove away as fast as i could. then i wrote. i vomitted words on many pages. too many pages. then i went back, because i always go back. one day maybe i wont. at any rate, i saw the bright rainbow lights (which i enjoyed thoroughly) then i met some people that i knew and some i didnt, which was fun until i had that weird energy take over, then i had a meltdown (that was not fun), i was actually instructed to be happy, it was kinda funny but i think you had to be there, then i fell asleep on the floor in an apartment ive never been in to the sounds of Dr. Jones. If i hadnt been up for almost 24 hours straight i totally would have finished it. Indiana Jones is such a player, heh.

i saw Just Friends tonight and it was so funny : P

yesterday time stopped for a minute. well it felt like a minute. not sure how i feel about it.

umm... i dont know.

ttfn, Jiggyish

I sat on a big mans knee

so... i got my picture taken with Santa today. it was awesome!

i wish to be done christmas shopping with this paycheck... im poor... it makes me sad.

i got my tire fixed today and they said i ran over a staple...

i got my nails done today, they have snow flakes!! shiny ones!

i saw musicals tonite! it was fun! it was basically a bunch of songs all musicaled out. So proud of you by the way, congratulations on your wicked ghetto solo! (by they way, i recieved a picture a while back and i put it in my wallet on the outside thingy.. TA HA!) AND my idea was on stage! that was freaking wicked. seriously, i cant believe you kept that a secret, cuz i thought that would be a class thing not a mainstage thing. afterwards, Rebecca asked me why i jumped in my chair. she thought i was a freak... which is true. but seriously, that made my day.

I AM HAVING A REALLY GOOD DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and on saturday i get to go see bright shiny things!!! yay!


umm... im happy.

OH! i yelled at Gary today for being a fucking asshole.

ttfn, Jiggy! : D