Do you ever feel like everything in your life is messy... I feel like that. Everywhere i look its messy. and i know that where it isnt currently messy will be soon and to start tidying before it gets out of control, but it all ready is, if that makes any sense. it makes me want to stop trying to fix things. if things are already beyond fixable, why should i waste my time trying to fix something that cant be fixed. I mean, once you start allowing something to be messy, then its always gonna remember the time it was messy. Thus being, unfixable. i feel like its hopeless, the only thing that makes sense to me is the callback tomorrow. every other area in my life is soooo fucking messy. im not angry enough yet to clean up. this headache wont subside. I handle rejection well, i mean, story of my life, of everyones life, i just handle it better than some. dont get me wrong, part of me is like DAMMIT, but the rest is kinda happy. can you be happy and sad at the same time over the same thing. hmm.

ill be up late tonite, call me if you like.

ttfn, Jaryd