Well, i am about the happiest person right now... oh did i write happy? i meant UNHAPPY... yes... i miss everyone so much... i lost a best friend i didnt even know i had til he was gone and now i feel completely lost... I knew we were friends... but never better than that.... not even when he TOLD me we were did it actually click that maybe i do care about him... Well, now i know, and know it sucks cuz im so stupid! I miss him more than words can say even though i keep trying to feel better by writing... i write here, i write in my journal thing, but still, nothing takes away my pain... only time, time that i dont want to spend missing him, i want to spend it with him...

i cannot...