I woke up this morning with the worst feeling... And that feeling was one of truth. The truth is that youre gone, and i quite possibly wont see you again for a year... or worst yet... never again. I also know that for the most part we feel the same way about each other and the truth is that we are both hurting right now, because we were each others addictions. For 3 weeks... And now, we have been forced to quit cold turkey, no weining off, nothing. The supply has run dry because you are far far away, and i am here, without you. Our only contact is msn and maybe a few phone calls, but is that really enough? Can we survive without seeing each other almost everyday... right now i dont know if i can becuase everything reminds me of you... songs, movies, phrases... everything. My only comfort is knowing that you are missing me too... Im suffering alone and with you all at the same time. 3 weeks and you have changed me. just 3 weeks and it seems like i only just met you 3 minutes ago... and there is so much information in my head that you gave me and so many wonderful memories, that can only be memories and will never be forgotten even if sometimes i wish I had the opportunity to make all the hurt disappear now, i wouldnt. Because then i would never have known you and i know that i cannot remember being as happy for such an extended period... You helped me smoke, swear and cry less... until you left... then i cried over and over.... Who would have thought i could have become so attached so quickly... we are so alike... in 3 weeks with you i cant think of one thing that we didnt have in common... not one... im sure there are things, but they werent important enough to be mentioned. Sometimes it felt like you were in my brain, finishing my sentences, singing the same songs... it was wonderful... And this morning on the radio every single flipping song had something to do with how i felt... no matter what station i listened to... I have NEVER cried so much over a guy before... Not even when Ian and dustin started ditching me off and were to busy for me and ive been friends with them for almost 5 years. then there was you... 3 weeks and you are the only person i can think about... and why is that? because i cant see you... and thusly will never have as much fun... until we meet again...
whenever that will be... It cant end like this, the last few weeks were so beautiful that it cannot end like this. I refuse to think it is over... I care to much for it to be finished... we can keep going... I hope

*^*Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end (of course, closing time was one the radio this morining)