I need to stop this. Now. Why do I always get wrapped up in the possibility it is her over me. I mean it normally is. But why should i assume? I deny myself the possiblility by doing so. Im so fucking tired of living in her shadow. ALL THE TIME. I worry too much, justifyably worry, but nonetheless, i worry to much that i will never be like her or have what she has. Because i want it. So badly. I didnt think i did because i am the shadow, being cast aside in pursuit of her. Well fuck that. This sucks. And i refuse to sit her like this any longer. Why should i worry that she is there? Why should i worry that she is better/more important/prettier/funnier/whatever than me. Well I know why I worry. Everyone tells me that i shouldnt. Well you know what. I worry because it happens over and over and over again and im fucking tired of it. So dont tell me not to worry, because i have good reason.