And the essay is done. I have a couple things to talk about. One is that i have started debating whether or not a past decision i made was the right one. I know that i saved myself from a lot of pain, well more pain than i already had. But was it worth it? I look at one of my friends and i wonder how he does it. he puts himself through so much pain, but to him its worth while. i cant help but think, what if? What if i hadnt stopped myself so many times? What if i had said how i felt and not hid? What if i didnt care about how badly it would hurt when he left? What if he had stayed? But no one can not live in a fantasy world of what ifs... unless youre a pisces...

I have been listening to Staind, 14 shades of grey... They are brilliant. The lyrics are amazing and i cant put it down. its beautiful.

I also wish to apoligize in advance to you all. It has started and there is no stopping now. Its like a wave, it comes and goes. Most of you probably wont notice, but if you do im sorry. All i ask is 2 things, remember it will pass eventually and leave me alone. Thank you.


ttfn, Jaryd