TA HA

is it true that if youre not completely open about yourself then you dont have any fulfilling relationships? i dont think it is. maybe if you dont say anything. but if you say some then its possible. i can see how it would hinder the growth of the relationship. but really, does everyone want to know the whole truth, of course not. and most people dont want to tell. or they will tell but they wont say why or how they felt. so really, the adult relationships that you have are not complete and chances are they will never be such. in short, you dont know me bitch! *snaps*

what a weird evening. i went dancing, which was fun. there is more but i got distracted by a greek... *sigh*

ttfn, Jiggy

The Heart Moves

i saw it on a stage. it was backlit in a soaking blue light. and played out on the black. was my greatest fear. ive said it was a want. a need. but ive never seen it as a fear. it was beautifully accurate. with flowing lines and colours. it was relaxing in its follow through. then my eyes closed as i came to the realization. that this one sentence. that was said for only me to hear. is the only reason. i have anyone to talk to. and that is why i fear it most.

ttfn, Jaryd

you can sleep while i drive

i took a break. i took a break from everything that stresses me out. Last week has been titled... "Homo Therapy Week". i worked monday and tuesday. i got a freaking awesome present. rain... rain... rainbow! its a book. a childrens book called "Rain" and its about... oh ya thats right rain... and... colours. i read it to my momma cuz its cool. thanks again : ) Jeff and i counted the numerous influencial homos in my life thus far. theres a number that would make people laugh excessively at me... lol and *SIGH*. tuesday night i drove up to edmonton. i met my uncles new boyfriend who is awesome. i came home on thursday evening. i had a good time. it was relaxing and i laughed! fun times. i burnt three cds up there. do you know how hard it is to put 20 cds back alphabetically and by genre in a collection of around 1000 cds? its fucking hard. and my uncle would know if i put them back wrong. on my way home i got a speeding ticket. but really, it could have been a lot worse considering that i was speeding WAY worse before. the drive up there and back was really foggy sometimes. it was cool but scary at the same time. i won. its done. and im happy. i want to take a friends cell phone and smash it into little bits. its just fucking annoying. rarr. seriously though, happy... : D have I mentioned how satisfying it is to prove your manager wrong? even on the smallest scale its fucking awesome. other awesome things happened and mostly im just happy that im finally taking control of things that i can. its liberating. also... i have a new favourite song. I found it in edmonton.

Come on baby let's get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
There's a chill in my bones
I don't want to be left alone
So baby you can sleep while I drive
I'll pack my bag and load up my guitar
In my pocket I'll carry my harp
I got some money I saved
Enough to get underway
And baby you can sleep while I drive
We'll go thorough Tucson up to Santa Fe
And Barbara in Nashville says we're welcome to stay
I'll buy you glasses in Texas a hat from New Orleans
And in the morning you can tell me your dreams
You know I've seen it before
This mist that covers your eyes
You've been looking for something
That's not in your life
My intentions are true
Won't you take me with you
And baby you can sleep while I drive
Oh is it other arms you want to
Hold you the stranger
The lover you're free
Can't you get that with me
Come on baby let's get out of this town
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
If you won't take me with you
I'll go before night is through
And baby you can sleep while I drive

the end. or ned. however you want to spell end.

ttfn, Jiggy.

: ) find why you should do this.

thats a big ball! haha... no seriously, ive never seen it before

SO. where to start. my seemingly boring weekend turned into a OMG WHEN CAN I SLEEP weekend. we orchestrated (heh) and emergancy evacuation. as a result ive slept on a foamy... and then in a new bed. then i went to the Dragshow last night which was freaking awesome! except when i walked by someone and then i "cried" and Jeff said "WHATS WRONG!... did you just see someone you had a crush on?" *sigh* THEN i was getting our coats and i turn to find Rebecca and i hear, "Jaryd?" and i looked... and there stood one of my old friends/crushs from elementary...... ive been a fag hag since grade 3. thats gotta be some kind of record. its kind of depressing. but mostly just hilarious. i saw a bunch of people from highschool and junior high... and elementary school... weird. I rescued Jeff too. it was fucking awesome cuz it was so smooth. (Jeff... i dont think ive said it enough so i will say it again... i can still see you reaching for me while being dragged away by a strange man "help me!" : ) thats all for now.

ttfn, Jiggy... seriously more happy then ive been in a very long time and omg last night was so awesome!

"why not keep your back pockets full"

"until you find your front pocket"

i miss having a really long talk with someone and then being able to say thank you and at the same time have someone else say thank you.

i felt ill all day.

im putting together a small army.

im almost too good at running/finding ways to run.

i just want to live in my fantasy world. i hate reality. everything is so much better in shiny town. i dont get hurt there. my perfect land is slowly being cracked. so i will run away. one day im going to turn around and everything that i have ran from for years and years will catch up to me and i will be kicked right on my ass and be forced to deal with all things dull and painful. i dont wanna.

i made a commitment to myself, but now, i dont know if its just because then i can run away and forget it all. maybe that better. even though its completely impossible to start over. there is no such thing as forgetting. its all there just suppressed deeper. like i need to hide anything else. everyone that knows my secrets leave. and holy shit this just because a way different conversation with myself. but that fact should make it apparent to everyone why i dont say what i want.